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okay if you haven't seen my profile before hand may i remind you i'm a freak lol!!! well in some ways anyways... i haven't been able too get around to the journal making as of late been too busy with everything else.... anyways on with it.....

Okay so lately i've been hanging out with my bro as of late the older one a.k.a snake... he and i really enjoy hanging out anyways as thouse of you know me personally my brother has seizures and don't say it doesn't happen people because it does my brother was one of thouse cases anyways when he has them they are grandma seizures (( if any of you don't know how bad thouse are they are the worst anyways)) heres the latest problems his meds have been making him get forgetful like crazy so whats this mean? yet another journey too washington too his nurologist too go see if they can fix this problem... anyways heres the thing... my bro has tryied about 6 of the 8 meds they have out there for him... you can imagine the worry anyways its belive that he might not live until his 30's that pisses me off... i luv my bro he and i have been threw alot together but you can only do what you can do.

on other news....

my sister jessie who has a baby is doing well i'm proud of her... as of late she's finally admitted that my dads a total a** where i had done years ago. of course its when she has a kid of her own but all the same i'm proud of her. my mom finally got a brand new labtop... however... it has vista on it... I LOTHE VISTA!!!!! its absoultly deadful so now i haveta learn how too use it from mygood friend reed well thankfully someone i know knows how too get past the redlines in that dam system. on another note... my 2 youngest sisters are still at eachothers throats (go figure sweatdrop ) and the youngest has a bf where as the older one is staying away from guys *gasp* scary i know.... anyways i'm proud of them both though sisters will be sisters espasally at there age LOL!!! further news i have glasses Now!!!! AGAIN!!!!! FINALLY!!!!! i only hope i won't loose these ones this time. however if i do i've given rights too my mom too kill me...

news on the sprem doner (a.k.a my piece of crap dad) last i knew he's still marryied too renne and is having puppys (as in where is was once skinny he's gained alot of wieght) he claims its the meds he's taking but then again i couldn't blame him...

thouse of you who don't know me there is a big history with me and my father and because i'm the eldest and have a really bad grudge streak i've never forgiven him... ((he still does certain things too and around his own children as it is he hardly punishes his new daughter she's like what 5 and already deep into cuss words))

further news.... i'm still lookin for a job (damit i just don't have any luck)
though i did have an interview... however... i had an anxiety attack and totally broke down the entire way home once i got home i just cryied for hours i cryied myself too sleep that night... if it wasn't for my moms and my grandmothers support i would probably not beable too function correctly...

my mom is a great person however... lately she's been at her bf's way too much... the kids and i have pritty much grown used too it but we long for our mother being there with us... my mom too me is like my best friend so at first it hurt a great deal when she was out every night... but you can't make desisions for people they must make there own mistakes and learn from them.

my grandmother has been really depressed as of late but then again we have been trying too clean house for her... and i've been having too kick some kids asses too get them too work... seriously... me and my brother the older one of the 2 of them have been working our asses off and the 3 younger kids haven't done diddly crap... it makes me wonder somtimes if mom when raising them was too easy on them. anyways my goal is too get them too do more work around the house... but inbetween looking for jobs and the like its really hard trying too help my grandmother who thinks she has too clean everything (witch annoys me somtimes) and push my younger brothers and sisters too clean er.... dam them all. this is what its like being the eldest no one listens until they get hurt or learn there lesson then they learn or usually come crying back too me i don't mind it but at the same time depending on my mood i can be either a real b***h or a real snob.

oh i forgot too mention didn't i? LOL! i'm the eldest of 6 my name the order goes as follows

Patricia -(Pat the Cat aka BC thats me)
Jessica- (she has a son and is very happy, she doesn't live with us)
Robert- (hes my fav brother its unfortinute he has seizers)
Melanie- (she's a little disfunctional at times and can be a real class A b***h when she doesn't take her meds but i love her all the same, oh and i forgot too tell u she LOVES too talk half the time when she talks you can't get her too stut up LOL!!! gotta love her though >w< )
Elizabeth- (she and mel are always at eachothers throats all the time and other than that but she can be almost just as syco as mel at times but then again what little bro or sister isn't in thouse times of fun and loving need she and i get along on a certain lvl but we really don't talk as much as mel and i)
David- (Sloth as his nickname has been given him he and i talk the most proably outta my family and unlike robert he's always someone i can count on in times of need well emotionally anyways... he's always willing too give people hugs and i mean anyone its cute. >w< )

all exept for my father and my sister jessica live with me my grandmother and my mom (witch i'm not sure you could even inculde mom living there since she's gone most of the time.... she comes home every so often though >w< thankfully)

anyways... things have been really rough as of late but i hope that everything gets better as they say the worst is only yet too come and the better times always come after the storm.

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so onwards too the forum news...


like i stated before you may of noticed that i've been crazyily busy and having alot of home problems so i've been having issues finding times too get on but i'm trying... i post when ever i'm able... enjoy where and while it lasts people... and please remember i can't get on every time mostly because of stress and the like...

I'll try too keep you all updated till later.

Cat~