Wow, realy?
Reading those last two entries caught me off guard... That's the reason I like to type/write in journals, 'cause it's so easy to forget how you felt in the past.
The trip to New York was fun and all, but I felt my ex (yup, ex) was pushing his luck. And true, I had feelings for him, but now I really don't think it was love.
How can I put this lightly....? Well, since I said, 'ex' I think it's obvious that we're not together anymore. Sad thing is, I broke up with him when he payed me a surprise visit. I was planning on calling him that very day to do it, but I woke up and he was in my room. >.< I wasn't happy, and didn't act it, but we both blamed that on the fact that I was sleepy.
In that afternoon, he noticed that I wouldn't kiss him, and when he asked why, I told him. He took it surprisingly easy, though, and agreed to it.
See, that was one of the problems... it felt like he played by the book. 'How to be the Perfect Boyfriend', and it drove me crazy. It's like he had no backbone of his own when it came to me. He was kinda dull, corney, and.. well, awkward in his own way. It was bugging me for a while... there was plenty more, believe me... Well, that's why.
OH, and the manager at EB Games that I had a crush on? While I was with my ex, I kinda confessed that I HAD a crush on him (all in laughs), but I never expected to get the response I got that night. *sigh*~ He felt the same. We stayed up all night talking to each other in his car, right outside my house. It was like, close to 6 am when he left (and he had to go to work, too....)
Being the dreadfully honest person I am, I told John (my ex) about it, and it was like.. he couldn't care less! Or at least that's what he let on.
Your GIRLFRIEND was in a car with a man 13 years older than her-- that she ADMITTED to LIKING until 6am.... And you don't care?
I had mixed feelings about that... I was glad he trusted me, but at the same time, it's like, "Wut?"
Well, since I got the okay, I continued to hang out with Dah (the old manager) and stuff... He respected the fact that I was in a relationship, and nothing happened between us.
Sad, 'cause I told him that if I had known that he had ANY kind of interest in me, I would have NEVER got with John.
Well, long story short, after I broke up with him, Dah was one of the first to know. And he, of course, took the initiative... kinda. xD We went out a lot, but not really on 'dates'... well, if they were, they were undercover dates.
Neither one of us knew if we were actually 'together' or not. xD lol Ah... so innocent.
But that was confirmed shortly after.
Looking back, I don't think I ever REALLY TRULY loved John, I just liked him a lot. But he kinda changed... and that drove me away. Plus, with someone like Dah on my mind, it kinda escalated the speed of me losing interest in him. ... Oh well. We agreed to be friends, but I'm not completely sure if he's still up for that... *shrugs*
Well, now me and Dah are together, and I can honestly say this without a doubt in my mind, that I love him. I don't think the exact feelings are mutual, but right now, I don't care.
I mean, just looking at him is enough to make me smile or giggle... I'd rather be at his house doing practically nothing and starving myself than be at home (with a bed, my kitty, cable, AC, and food) just because I know I'll get to see and be with him. Agh, I got it bad. Dx
Even as I type this, I'm on his laptop, in his house... Alone, might I add...
But I feel like it's worth it. The only regret I have is my Kitty. Poor Tamaki... I really want to bring him with me...
.... Anyway, I digress...
It's hard to believe that I originally came here to make a two sentence entry then leave it like that. Simply, "A gold entry!" ... but now look. xD lol
Anyway... I wanna get back to my main account before these people in this KH RP kill me. lol
