I know this is stupid and childish to write about but I'm sick of having my life put on hold or some sort of schedule to fit my step-dad's needs. I could have spent the night at my friend's house today if it weren't for oh great Mr.Bill. I mean really I've kept my grades up high, my lowest is an 89, and I haven't done anything lately...
The reason I can't is because Mr.Bill wanted to go visit his dad because he's leaving tomorrow and like I said because of that...what I want to do goes on hold. My mom asked if I could maybe go to my friends house to spend the night tomorrow but I can't. I have a Spanish project I have to do this weekend not to mention a load of other work and I can't get it all done on Saturday. That's why I wanted to it tonight. To go have fun tonight and work on it tomorrow. Because we're like cleaning our house every damn weekend, so that really cuts into everything else. Honestly, if I didn't have to worry about chores, not that I mind them, I would never have to do my homework on the weekends. -______- I just don't like being fit into his schedule and I'm supposed to like what say yes okay, I don't mind but he can't even tell his own father he married my mother. No, I'm supposed to not tell anyone and just be okay with what he wants to do all the time.....right....
I'm not saying High School is hard and they just totally drown me in work because they don't and it's not that hard. I just wish I had time to get it done and still enjoy my life. I've got 4 years left of enjoying childhood and all it's doing lately is 49% work and 50% school and 1% fun. I'm not saying I never have fun but god. . . There was this one time I went skating and then like a month or so later my mom was talking to Mr.Bill about if I could go, and they go into a fight and he was saying how we just went the other week ago, and my mom was like "They haven't been there in over a month!" It's like we have to wait at least 1 or 2 weekends before having another fun one. Yippee isn't that a life. stare And my sister expects me to feel sorry that she hasn't seen her friend (stayed the night) but she never asks! If I feel bad for anyone, it's my mom. All she does is work. Personally if I had a million dollars right now, I'd be buying her a new car and make her go the damn spa for like 5 months. I know she's saying in her head she'd love that. She doesn't like working anymore than I do. I know that. She knows that. She knows how I feel, well kind of but I mean really...it's all about this house, and the guy who thinks he runs it. He's been less pissy lately but I still get pissed...I'm never going to forgive him (not for this; something else that happened)
All in all, something's got to give, because I refuse to keep having everything I want to put on hold for what he wants to do.
Even though this rant is probably sounding a little childish and bratty, I really need to get this off my chest.
stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed
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