Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Yesterday, I bumped into a guy who I shal refer to as M. It was a rather awkward occassion, during which a very brief 'Hi' was muttered by both parties before we went our seperate ways, due to that fact that he had a bit of a thing for me at one point, and that I didn't realise that just being friendly towards M would encourage him.
Now, one of the worst things about this situation is when other people get involved. Que conversations beginning with 'I talked to M yesterday', or, from some of my blunter aquaintances, 'M wants your number, shall I give it to him?'. I was also repeatedly told 'He's a really nice guy, you should give it a try'.
Well, how marvellous for the pair of us; I go out with someone who I already like as a friend but really don't like in that way, which makes me unhappy, which makes him unhappy, which leaves everyone in a great big mess. Sounds great!
Yeah, um, no.
Another frequent comment: 'Why not? It's nice to have a boyfriend', or the closely related, 'But you're single, right?'
Now, that annoyed me more than anything. It's very nice to have a boyfriend, if things are going well, and yes, I am single, but why oh why does that automatically mean I must spend my life wanting a partner? People should ask whether you're happy being single, not assume that all people in such a status want it to end. I wouldn't mind a boyfriend, but I'd like to be in a realtionship with someone I really have feelings for, not just whoever comes along one evening at the pub.
Basically, it's far more important to know whether someone is happy in their 'relationship status', rather than just knowing what that happens to be. And that gets me to thinking: of all those questions we get asked everyday, filling out forms, by friends, even by some nosy pensioner at the bus stop how many are really talking about the important things?
How many siblings do you have? What qualifications do you have? How many relationships have you had? How expensive is your house? What is your job? What are your hobbies? How many friends do you have? How old are you?
So many questions that just float around constantly, giving little bits of information and vague connotations, but not really getting to the heart of a person. Instead, why not ask:
Do you get along with your siblings? Did your qualifications inspire you to better things? How have you felt about these relationships? Can you honestly say that you can afford your house? Is your job enjoyable? How much time do you have to spend on your hobbies, before life takes over? How many friends can you really rely on?
Have you lived those years of your life, how ever many there are, in a way that makes the most of every goddamn day? Because they go too quickly to spend time only knowing the unimportant things.