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bleh today probbably is horrible, i have this sudden deja vu to the day i hurt kaliera.... I cant stand it, i lied to her... but she also lied to me... Were friends again but were not as close as we used to.

I was replaced, put on a shelf and disregarded despite the fact we had known eachother for over 2 years. No one knows me, the very club i had origionally built was clossed down, replaced by a newer one with my patch only butchered on furcadia.

I want to scream or something, It hurts that bad, I dont have the ability to tell her how much it hurts but she also doesnt seem to care about me anymore... Why do i even love her... I just dont know, I feel more like a quick fix for her love issues than anything now, and all the time im taking the abuse hoping she would remember or care.

Its more complicated than that, but right now im keeping myself from breaking down, and talking to her, ironically, about stuff.

Emmz isnt here, not sure where shes at, i hope shes okay. I love her to, but its different...

I just never got closure from kali, she suddenly reveals her own little mate/lover and i dont know... I thought two years would mean something... but apparently i wasnt there long enough....

Blah im gonna go back to the forums now.

She wont ever read this, but It feels good to vent it out into the open.

Alta, i hate you, i hate you for being nice to me when she was upset at me. I hate you for just being so damned nice despite how much i want to hate you for taking her away from me... Damnit...

But looking at how i react to this kinda thing only makes me think that people honestly dont like me because i do get to close... or care about them... Blah...

Love you all...