I lie awake at night not thinking about my life and how things have been, but thinking about you. Why is it that you've taken over my mind? I should be stronger than this! Yet everytime I think of you, I feel pathetic...I feel weak. I feel as if all I can do is follow you around never once thinking on my own. You controll my thought, my soul, my actions. And all I can do is watch...
I know you know. It's no longer a secret between us.
I try and try not to become an annoyance, a pest. But the more time we spend together, the more I try and talk with you, the more I whine and complain about it...it just makes me feel like a naive child, one who knows nothing about how things really should go. One who dreams and dreams about what COULD happen but never realizes that it never will. One that lets herself become tricked and taunted and believes whatever you say to her only to be hurt in the end by her own fault. Why can't I be stronger?
A girl can only dream...She can only wish that the person she loves would truly realize it and feel the same as she does wholeheartedly. She can only hope that whoever she cares for radiates a mutual feeling to her.
She may smile on the outside and appear to be happy, but on the inside, she's afraind. She'll cry and hide her feelings to him. But what does it all mean?
Farfetched feelings to most anyone has a purpose to atleast one. She hopes that he'll realize how she truly feels for him. In the end, all he can do is take her as his own or reject her. While one hurts more than anything in the world, at least she would know and stop wasting her heart in trying.
What do people wait for? It's better to taste rejection sooner than to put your whole heart, body, mind, and soul into something that will shatter them all. If you want to let the person know, tell them now rather than play with their emotions.
After all, she could return the feelings. I would hope the feeling is mutual...
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A Small Book Of Writing
Just a few things I write when I'm bored or feeling a strong emotion.
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iF a l c o n THRUST
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