If I Could Tell the World
Reserved on the inside
Keeping to my self in public.
Fearing the crowds of people
The feeling of rejection.
Only showing what the worlds wants to see
Hoping to cover up my meatless arms.
Lying about what I really want to say
Putting my thoughts and dreams behind.
Although I say I never missed you,
You never really asked if I cried all those nights.
When I said I hated you
It was my own way of saving the word I fear the most.
I do my best in school
Avoiding fights, avoiding the words people yell out to me.
Never speaking about it when I was a child
Not even now.
B's never seemed to be good enough now
Even though you told me my best was good enough.
Telling my sister how proud you where when they got all a's
Barely speaking a word about my b's.
I don’t ask for much, simple things are just good enough.
Yet every once in a while, words tend to help.
Smiling at my art, and listen to me when I try to speak
That is all I ask at the moment.
You always fight in front of me, screaming at each other
But never in front of them.
Taking your anger out on me, do you even see?
I remember every word you speak to me.
I wanted to play football, yet you told me I was a girl
And I wasn’t strong enough.
Inside I am screaming at the world
Do you even know I was meant to save you?
I see the world from a different prospective.
This is what you have made out of me.
I fight all the time in school,
Breaking my arm and you didn’t even care.
Grades matter, but I never pay attention always caught up in my books I steal from you.
My weight hasn’t changed
My strength will never improve.
Even though I haven’t gotten better at anything
My ambition and my ability to always fight back grow stronger from each word you scream at me.
Hate, despised, demonic, emo and so on, I have lived through your words long enough.
Love and faith no longer live in my darkened soul, lost with that little girl who always cried from being picked on.
Quiet, yet angry.
Angry, yet lost.
Lost, yet tired.
Tired of trying to be perfect in your eyes.
Perfection is what drove me to darkness
Perfection is the ugliest thing you could want me to be.
This is who I am, and if your not happy about.
Go back and fix your mistakes you made, and just not have this god forsaken child.
Just wanted to post somethen...bored to the bone
Those who hate most fervently
must have once loved deeply;
those who want to deny the world
must have once embraced
what they now set on fire.
 Jessie Bangs Hard · Wed Jul 30, 2008 @ 03:04am · 0 Comments |
