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What To Do
Its like no matter what I do somethings wrong about it. I try to give out happy vibes but its like the more I give the more I hurt people, but at the same time the more I give the more I help people. What am I supposed to do? If I keep it up, I'll hurt them, but if I stop, I hurt the others crying and its like everything looked like it was going to get better, but something happened that sorta seems to prove I can make everyone happy. I dont get why life cant just be easy for longer periods of time, I mean for me the most time I've had of easy life is like alomost a day, and then things get REAL ugly after it, why cant I just be good, and stuff, I mean why do I cause pain for people, I dont try to but in the end its like it always points back to me. Why cant I just fix myself so that everyones happy? How am I supposed to fix myself? Where am I supposed to start? What am I here for? What is my purpose, cause if its to cause others pain, I dont wanna do it. I just want everyone to be happy, to be open and honest and to have fun, but how can they do that if I mess it up all the time, I mean I really dont try to but it happens, maybe I dont try hard enough, maybe im just too lazy and I really dont care about other people, maybe ive been lying to myslef all my life. Why am i such a jerk, why am i still living, what am i expected to do? Whats my lifes purpose? Well I guess asking these questions arent helping me much, finding the answers might help a bit more, huh? oh well, maybe i should look inside of myself and see i need to change.
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