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People come and people go. I guess that is something I haven't figured out myself. The way I thought I would live until I was out of highschool. Man, how wrong I was. And how shocked. One day I'm with my friends, secure and safe. So carefree and happy. And then the next day...I want to fall apart. Why? Why do people have to change, to move on? It makes me so sad. And it hurts so much. Some of you (who are my friends) might be reading this and know what I'm talking about. How could I have given myself false hope like that? Life isn't how I thought it would be. When I found out I would have such a change in my life...I really did want to just fall apart right then and there. But I needed to remember...that my friends cared for me. No matter where I am they will always be my friends. And God will always be with me. I need to remember that. I guess I'm posting this just to remind me to remember that. Most of the time I want to cry until I can't cry anymore. Until I have the worst headache and can't see straight. Which I have done almost every night. But I've gotten better. I'm starting to pick up my Bible and read. Read until my heart is full again. These next four years ahead of me are going to be challenging. There are moments where I'll be happy. And moments when I'll get hurt. I'll learn important lessons. I just pray that I will keep my eyes on God. That I will not stray away from him. Because he never moves, only I can push myself away from him. He loves me. I don't know how I could blame him like I did. I have asked him for forgiveness. He has forgiven me, but I guess I need to forgive myself now. Things will get better. I'll make new friends and new memories. I'll feel secure and safe again one day. I'll find a man I love and marry. I'll have kids and a house with a white fence =] And when I'm really old I'll look back on my past and think: God helped me through all of that. He truly does love me. And then one day I'll die happy. I'll live in heaven forever. Praising God. I can't wait, but for now God wants me to reach out to people. Maybe that is why my life was changed? To reach out to nonchristians. Now that I am done spilling out my heart I guess I'll close this with: Are you a christian? If not, maybe you need to get your life right with God? Thanks for reading this. If I've offended you in any way, that was not my point here. And I'm sorry if you were offended. I was just typing what I wanted to say so bad right now.

God Bless~