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(Rewrite of The Mayor Of Simpleton by XTC)
Never been to a club in the city,
Never put alcohol through the lips of me,
And some of your friends think thats stupid of me,
But its nothing that I care about.

Well I dont know how to have any real fun,
Cause of drugs and alcohol I want none,
And I may be the mayor of Straight Edged Land,
But I know one thing,
And thats I love you.
When all parties get old and all drinking gets done,
Youll be warm in the arms of the mayor of straight edged land.

I cant have been there when fun was handed round
(please be understanding for the mayor of straight edged land),
Or get any items from the underground,
(please be understanding for the mayor of straight edged land),
And some of your friends thinks its really unsound,
That youre ever seen talking to me.

Well I can't be out late for very long,
And all night drink fests I just shun,
And I may be the mayor of straight edged land,
But I know one thing,
And thats I love you.

Im not proud of the fact that I've learned way too much,
Just feel I should say,
What you get is all real,
I cant change how I act,
It'd take drugs to do that anyway. (and anyway...)

And I cant bring myself to buy any guns,
And your ghetto music has me on the run,
And I may be the mayor of straight edged land,
But I know one thing,
And thats I love you (I love you).

If lack of caring is a currency,
(please be understanding for the mayor of straight edged land),
Then Im the man who grew the money tree,
(no thoughts of highness and no thoughts of getting drunk).
Some of your friends are too shortsighted to see,
That they're dangerous games that they play.

Well I dont know how many caps you could bust in my buns,
Or how much rap music I've never sung,
And I may be the mayor of straight edged land,
But I know one thing,
And thats I love you.

When all parties grow old and all drinking gets done,
Youll be warm in the arms of the mayor of straight edged land.
Youll be warm in the arms of the mayor of straight edged land.
Youll be warm in the arms of the mayor.
(please be understanding for the mayor of straight edged land.)

The tune of course is set to this: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=5Da9sc6YDBo

Shout Your Name Out Loud (rewrite of Do I Creep You Out by Weird Al Yankovic)

I know that you
Don't know me very well
We've barely met
But I can surely tell
No one will ever
Love you like I do

You make me feel
Things I've never felt
I act the fool
But you just never care
My precious one
I've still got that gum
On that one sock here

You're the one I dream about
And I'm going to tell you these things now
And shout your name out loud
Everytime I hold your hand now
Want to scream my love for you to clouds
Shout your name out loud

Nothing I've ever felt comes close
To the feelings I feel when I'm with you
When I'm with you, oh-oh!

This is what my song's about
Gonna stay with you no doubt
And shout your name out,
Shout your name out loud
(You'll just have to through me out)
(Cause I'm never gonna leave you now)
No, never no-oh
(I'll shout your name out loud)
I'll shout your name out loud
Nothing's gonna stop these feelings
Nothing will ever halt my love for you
So I'll shout your name out loud
Shout your name out loud

Stay With You Tonight (rewrite of Another Satelite by XTC)
My heart's not broken it doesn't need to be replaced
All I have to do is see your pretty smiling face
So why on earth would I want anyone else?
I may be mean but I wouldn't punish myself
Love to think about you at night

With you I want to spend each day
Not caring about what others think or say
So why should we life live in fear?
We only have a short time here
Smile my little satelite

So dance until the end of this silly year
Then both our worlds collide
The time is coming ever near
Let me chase all your fears away

You are my only source of light
You keep me going both day and night

I may be mean but I'll never lie
And I'm sorry that I make you cry
You're the reason I go on these trips
So I can once again taste your lips
I want you here tonight
So dance until the end of this silly year
Then both our worlds collide
The time is coming ever near
Let me chase all your fears away
Let me stay with you tonight
Let me stay with you tonight