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LOVE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've had a crush on my best friend in the world(which is a dude lol)that I've known since we've been 4 or 5.Over the last summer I asked him out and he said no because he was afraid of getting caught(where not allowed to date cause of our close freindship)and I was fine with that.I have a friend that gos to the High skool(im at the middle skool and he gos to the high skool)so i gave her a note from me to ask him out on friday.well 4 some reason it never got to him that day.over the weekend him and a freind of mine started "secretly" going out(they went out before but had a bad brake up,which is y they wherent aloud to date anymore untill they turned eighteen).well as soon as i got there he told me that they where going back out and not to tell anyone.it felt as if he was shoveing it in my face,it felt as if he would give his all for her and not me.but me being the way i am hid my sadness and acted normal and happy in front of them.i had to leave the room twice so i could go out side and cry on his trampoline.when my mom and i left i started to cry and she asked me y i wouldnt tell her.....at first,but then she guessed it and i started to pour.i begged her not to call my aunt and tell her but she did.i knew he'd be upset but i figured it'd be all right(we've been through alot worse).well i didnt go to skool monday because i have a bad ear infection(which my moms givin me antibiotics for).when i got back yesterday i found out that my friend that gos to the highskool gave him the note on monday.my first thought?O s**t!!!!! gonk i knew hed be pissed now,and by the reaction on his face she said he was.I know wat he was thinking. He thinks i broke him and Arron(mine and his friend) up so that i could ask him out.NOT TRUE!!!!!!!>__< that note was ment for friday! But it doesnt matter now,cause i relize something that he was trying to tell me.When i was there he said that i was like his sister.those words didnt click untill tuesday.I relize now that all three of us r better off as friends.and if we want to take it to the next step later on in life than ok,but wait cause i dont think any of us want to ruin our freindship and right now we need eachother more than ever.but i fear that i mest that up.im so afraid that he'll hate me and never trust me again.I still love him but i think i relized that we're better off as friends to late.I JUST WISH I COULD TELL HIM IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!! crying
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