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Background
Background was the name of my old blog Why not use this name again? =p
wt.... I really want of my life?!
Couldn't join in Design course... well... there is still the plan B... (History course, but I'm still in waiting list)
Well... my efforts wasn't enough, I recognize...
I should have studied more last year than fall in despair and stay static after 6 month of hard work on study...
Jeez... I have no discipline ... neither am hard working like my sister (she's amazing in this point).
As the eldest sister feel bad for still not have finished or be studying in some college...
Myh 2 sis is already in college, my little bro will start to try to join in college...
And.... I'm actually 23... April I'll have 24...

Like always I feel like running... but like always, the time don't stop...
I'm tired to hear from my parents and friends the same things...

When I was little... I had a dream... My first dream was to be a childreens books writer...
at 12 I wanted to be a manga artist...
at 17~18 something in arts... at 20 designer maybe because it's near manga artist?
....

Maybe my dreams never wasn't clear....

Things looks so messy....

what I want? A) A career where I can enjoy what I do and grow there? B) Just some career to survive and earn my daily life? C) Or stay like a nail inside shell hiding from the world?

option B is what looks like what will have to happen... Looks like i don't have will enough to achieve what I think I want... and I can't stand doing nothing for another 6 months feeling down...

I don't have confidence to achieve nothing... I hate the fact that my life isn't going like I want, but how it can go...

Like always.... when I could look for help I go inside my shell and just try to disapear from everywhere... Maybe I should ask for support.... but what can anyone else do? Who have to solve my problems is myself... I'm always complaining...




still... I need to think about what I'll do from now.... =.=
and stop to be "wagamama" (spoiled)





 
 
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