This here is Ted the dementor. His real name would be Theophylaktos, which is shortened to Theo, which is shortened to Ted.
He wears a monocle because he's mostly blind in his right eye...socket...thing. The other dementors used to make fun of him for it, but Ted got a big box and wrapped it up all pretty-like with a bow and sent it to the other dementors and when they opened it it EXPLODED!! BOOM!! (Because it was filled with exploding sparklebunnies.) And then nobody made fun of him after that.
Ted is dementor number 314 in Azkaban. He used to guard Sirius Black's cell. Black thought that dementors couldn't sense him when he turned into a dog, but HE WAS WRONG. It was because someone had stolen Ted's monocle and Ted couldn't see very well that Sirius managed to escape. And then Ted didn't bother trying to catch him because he had to go beat the tar out of #753, who had stolen his monocle.
Ted likes tea and crumpets and long moonlit walks on beaches and sucking out people's souls. He doesn't like it when people call him Phylaktos or Phyla or "HEY YOU!" and he doesn't like Patronuses either.
Um...yeah. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I did this either. ._.
