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So I realized recently that the last thing in my journal makes Soren sound like a scumbag and cad, which he was at that time, but since he's gotten a few hate PMs, I think it is high time I updated my journal with a new recount of events. By the way, to all of you who supported me, I thank you greatly. It's always good to have friends when you've reached a low point in your life.

To move on, Soren, after dumping me in June and a week before my birthday, suddenly found himself unable to live without me. Quite literally I believe. Even though he told me he didn't love me, somehow that didn't quite ring true for me. I didn't really think I could have lost him completely. So despite the fact that I was 2,000 miles away on a training excursion, he calls me to tell me he misses me. While not quite in those terms, it worked. I still loved him and missed him and even though we were both scared, it was time to put that behind us. We figured out that together, life wasn't nearly so scary as it was alone. In fact, over one online conversation, Soren told me he (finally) was ready to start thinking of making that lifelong committment...he told me he could see us getting engaged within a year. And considering Soren's absolute fear of marriage for the course of our two year long relationship, I didn't expect this to be coming from him barely a week into our restarting our relationship. But, I'm excited now. And waiting. We'll see where that goes. But then he did something crazy. He decided to surprise me by flying out to see me.

Luckily I found out about that. I was in the midst of an intensive training session for my job and his arrival would have caused some major uproars in my life...not a good way to try to restart a relationship. He took a vacation instead and like something out of the movies, we met at the airport. It was wonderful. It was like he had never left and at the same time, like I hadn't seen him in years. It was almost 8 weeks. He picked me up and spun me around before planting a huge kiss on me. It was hard to let him go, but we started to work things out.

Now, life is much better. We've calmed down a bit in our relationship. It's no long so hard when we can't see each other as often as we'd like. While I love him to death, I also can survive on my own. My life doesn't revolve around him. I think he still has some growing to do, but I think with time that will come. I hope. I do worry a lot sometimes, but then, when he holds me in his arms in just that way and kisses my forehead...the world is right. I can't imagine life with anyone else. I love him dearly and am so glad he is back. I didn't know if he would ever come back, but somehow, he did. And he loves me. And tried very hard (most of the time) to make up for the horrible things he did over the summer. So, I'm happy. And he's wonderful.


To those of you entering mid-story, the remainder is chronicled in my journal for posterity. It traverses from the beginning of this twisted relationship to...well, today's entry. Almost three years of history there. I don't write every day. Or even every month. So please take a look. I love getting comments on my journal, past and present pages. And feel free to PM me! I love hearing people's ideas on my writing.