<CENTER>[Characters]</CENTER>
Church: white
Tex: Cyan
Tucker: Blue
Caboose: Dark Blue
Sheila: Black
Sarge: Dark Red
Simmons: Orange
Griff: Red
Donut: Violet
And now...!
<CENTER>Episode 30, I Dream of Meanie</CENTER>
"Get outta my body right now, Tex!"
"You're body? This isn't your body! I stole it."
"Yeah, but I stole it first!"
"I am confused. I thought your name was Lopez. And I thought you were a man. This is all so strange. I feel like my circuts are crossed. And I like it!"
"I know how to get her outta there! ... Wink."
"Caboose, don't! Look, just go explain to Sheila, okay? Alright, Tex. Now what's it gonna take to get you outta there?"
"Well, ever since I was a ghost, I've been watching you guys a lot."
"Woah, when you saw you've been watching us, do you mean you've been watching us all the time? Like, even when we're alone?"
"Yes, Tucker. And you should be very ashamed of yourself."
"It's very lonely out here."
"Anyway. I've noticed a change in one of your guys: Caboose."
"A change? Like what? He's finally learned the whole alphabet?"
"You havn't noticed that he's become increasingly agressive lately?"
"I have! Started about the same time Sheila got disabled and you got blown up. I tried to tell Church, but he never listens."
"Tucker, there's a very fine line between not listening, and not caring. I'd like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."
"I had just finished repairing the tank when I overheard Church's plan to warn the Reds about me."
"I guess I'm gonna do the only thing I can do. I gotta warn the Reds."
"From what I can tell, the AI calculated the odds of survival, and didn't like the results."
"Once Caboose turned on his radio to call Church, it took its chance."
"Calling Private Church. Come in Church."
"And that was when he said his name was O'Malley! So the AI that was in you infected Caboose?"
"Right. Everyone's armor has one slot for AI and Caboose's would've been vacant."
"I think there are a few of his non-artificial slots that are empty, too."
"And before I could figure out what had happened, that b***h! It was a really lucky shot!"
"Aww, crap!" (BOOM!)
"And the next thing I know, I'm a ghost."
"Alright. I get it. Caboose has your precious little AI. So lemme guess, you're holding my body hostage until I help you get your AI back, right?"
"Wrong. You're gonna help me kill it!"
---
"Ladies, it has come to my attention that we are in need of a new robot type person. Who here wants to volunteer?"
"Are we going on a trip? I love trips! Can we play 'I Spy'? And license plate games?"
"Shut up, Donut!"
"Please!"
"Uh... Sir?"
"Or punch buggy or... or... the alphabet with signs game..."
"Just shut up..."
"What exactly do you mean by 'volunteer'?"
"Quite obviously, we are without a robot or any other type of troop with mechanical training or dexterity. Therefore, the only solution is to turn one of you into a robot and or freaky cyborg thing."
"What? Are you crazy?"
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"What the hell?"
"Cool! I vote for Simmons!"
"I'm told the cyborg operation is a relativly simple procedure, really. Where the mostly useless guts and slimy goo of the human body are replaced with the no doubt superior guts and oily goo of a robot. If you're lucky, you may even get a copper rectum."
"Sir, wouldn't it be better if we didn't do that instead of doing it?"
"Goooood thinkin', Simmons. But no, I like the removin' the guts thing so I think we stick with that."
"Yes, sir, I hate to agree with the kissass, but, wouldn't it be better to get command to send us another perfectly good, brand new robot instead?"
"Negative, meat sack! Another new robot could be reprogrammed by our enemies just as easily as Lopez! We need someone we know we can trust!"
"Ah, ******** me."
"Or someone who's mental capacity is so unbelievably tiny, that he could never be turned against us."
"Hey. Pink suit, guys. I think it's somebody else's turn at the barrel."
"Then again, maybe we just stick with the trustworthy thing."
"Ah, you back stabbing a** monkies!"
"Now, Griff, I'll be needing some things from my medicine chest for this operation. Two quarts of Vodka."
"Check."
"Eight pounds of vaseline, condensed."
"Check."
"An old tire iron, preferrably metric."
"You know, I might've left that in the bathroom."
"The latest issue of Easy Bake Oven for Kids Monthly."
"I'll have to check."
"Check? You mean we have it?"
"Check."
"What I don't-"
"No, I mean, not check. I mean I'll have to check."
"Come on, boy, make sense! I ain't got all day! I gotta gut this fish!"
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Red Vs. Blue
Well, I'm posting scripts of Red Vs. Blue in my journal, quite obviously. ^_^ It's funny! Read!
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User Comments: [1] [add]
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I have my journal filled with funny quotes. XD