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november 27 - C&T Guild

I passed out today and I had a weird dream right before I woke up just now.

I went to this mom & pop shop that was also a bedroom, kind of. For some reason. Whatever.

I mean, I drive over there because I have some extra money. I'm looking around and I remember seeing sooo many Gaia stickers. Like. Gaia puzzles.. But the puzzle pieces were stickers, and it made avatar art. And there were a bunch of these. I went around the aisles and I was trying to find an avatar that looked kind of like mine (Any avatar with grey hair is a commodity, of course rolleyes ) and of course I only have my cell phone camera with me. Regardless, I was walking around and being like "Omg, I can't wait to tell the GCD/SCAS about this!"

Finally manage to pick a decent one, and then go up to the counter, where they're selling ice cream. I ask them which ice cream flavor is good and the girl behind the counter is like "I don't know, no one's ever ordered ice cream before."
And I'm like "never?" and she confirms.

So I shrug and go whatever, pick a few flavors and get it in a cup instead of a cone, and am about the go on my way out. I open the door and then

SMASH

Some dudes running across the hall with guns and I run into one of them. Frightened, I run back into the bedroom/store and hide behind a bed.

This is the part where it kind of gets fuzzy. Somehow it's made known that there's a guild war. One of the guilds is C&T, and it never said what the other guild was, that I remember.

But I guess this was a hotel. And they were holding it up, with the major violent party being C&T trying to claim territory.

Now, my phone doesn't get SMS. It's disabled. But I would get every random SMS message in a blue moon from the C&T Guild. Why? Because I used to be a C&Ter, and I guess I was still in their system. It turns out they were communicating through SMS. It was a hostage situation, but luckily everyone in the room with me seemed to be ok. We just did nothing and stayed in our room/store.

Occasionally, another person would be thrown in our room.store. At one point, someone came across the hall I recognized, and went into the elevator going up. I ran out of the store and into the elevator with the guy, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. We talked but I don't know about what. He seemed nonviolent, but when we got to the top floor I was thrown into what appeared to be the leaders of the Guild. They said some pretty insulting things to me. Mentioned how i betrayed them because I was on the other side, and then got this ballpoint pen and marked up half my face with ink. I guess the lesson behind that was if anyone saw me they should treat me special, I guess. Special bad, I was assuming.

I get thrown back into the previous store/room I was in with the others, and I start looking for ways out because, I knew this was going to get messy with bullets real quick, and I didn't want to die.
I got a new SMS confirming my suspicions and found a window that wasn't far fromt he ground. I managed to get everyone outside.

I ran to the front of the hotel, which was a HUUUUGE mistake, because they had two guards there. And they had huge soldering guns. They wanted to burn my face. Grabbed me, put the flame up to my face, but then I showed them my hand (which they had balpoint marked before entry into the store before this guild wars thing happened) and for some reason that meant they didn't get to kill me.

I thanked god as I was seriously scared for my life for a minute there, and they threw me back in that damn SAME store and room.
They mentioned how they'd bring a gun bridage or something over so they could shoot us all in the room, massacre style.

They go to go get those people, and we're all panicking. I try to find ways to get out throug the window again. I think maybe calling 911 would work. I'm seriously panicking, I hear their footsteps coming with their guns, I think I was crying at that point, and then I woke up.

And when I woke up it was like waking up from a dream I didn't remember. It's like. Damn. I know that should've been a nightmare but it wasn't one. WTF. cry






December 4 - Car Massacre

I also had a dream last night. I guess, it should've been a nightmare. I just woke up feeling kind of guilty.

I was in my shittastic killing machine of a car, and I was at some light. It was red but for some reason I didn't stop to make a right turn and then I don't know if I turned too much, or didn't turn, or just sped out of control or what, but I was hitting my breaks and I wasn't stopping fast enough. My eyes were closed, I had ducked my head. As always my windows were open, and at some point I went off the road(I had intentionally gone off the road since I was going into oncoming traffic and I thought crashing head-on would be worse than offroading) and I could feel me running people over. I think I was at a school. I didn't hear screams, just the loudness of the car and bones crushing. At one point this, like, tidal wave of blood and guts came in on my right and completely covered my right side.

I was soaking with blood, and my car finally stopped. I put it in park and I just curled into a fetal position, afraid to open my eyes to see the carnage, the blood on me, and whatever was stuck under my car, because I was sure I was dragging a body for a bit under the carriage.

I broke down and I just had a massive panic attack. All those people. I just unintentially killed a bunch of people. I somehow managed to get my cellphone and the first thing I did was call 911. My eyes were open at that point but I was extremely selective of what I saw. For some reason 911 wasn't dialing, so I threw the phone to the side and closed my eyes again, crying, just crying.

There were angry people outside my car, I could hear them crying and screaming now, but I wouldn't open my eyes or move. Eventually the ambulances and cops came, I could hear their sirens. Then, I think I was in a ditch, because somehow whoever came to "rescue" me had to climb into my car. She asked me if anything hurt and I think I said something retarded like my heart(but not in the physical way, and she understood that) and she grabbed and hugged me, and tried to convince me to get out of the car.

It took a lot of convincing because I didn't want to deal with what I had done, but once I got out of the car I was put in a towel and I just kept looking at the ground, because I didn't want to see what was going on around me. At some point I attempted to call my parents. They didn't answer, so I left a message. I had to be quick about it though since the cop/EMT/whatever girl who had rescued me was ushering me away to the police for questioning. I left a message that, in between my breathy gasps of air and crying, kind of sounded like this:

"I got in a car crash. I wanted you to know that I'm okay. I dunno what happened but, I.. I killed a lot of people. I killed so many people. I have to go now, but if you want the details it should be on the news.
So many people..."

It was the most depressing dream ever. When I woke up I wasn't scared. I felt slightly disgusted because As far as I know i haven't had a dream quite as depressing or gory as that before. And whenever I think about the dream, even now as I'm typing this, I feel sick to my stomach. I can smell the blood, I can hear the sirens, I can feel everyone's anger and sadness aimed specifically at me, and I just. I wanna cry, even though the entire drea was fake.

I mean, what the ********? Why burden me with a dream like that? Why?