Ok so the other day I actually tried on my bathing suit. Like the thing was dusty I haven’t put it on for so long >.> I love swimming but I stopped doing it a few years ago – because I hate my body that much, I don’t like swimsuits and the way they show my body. I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror and nearly threw up…I am disgusting! So IF I’m going swimming it’s gonna be with shorts and a top >.> Yay….
Along with that I had a shower today and I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and I just ended up slamming myself. I’m gaining weight for some odd reason. I’m watching what I’m eating and I am getting lots of exercise…not enough I guess. I found some weights in my house and even thought they’re too light I’m using them anyways, trying to get my muscles back >.<
So ya…sometimes I wish I had money to get surgery or something…it just bugs me that I hate myself so much. I wish I could love myself inside and out and I’m trying…it’s just bloody hard. One good thing about myself…my eyes ^-^ But then above them is my nasty eyebrows >.> And pimples everywhere…and stupid red cheeks…GAH! Anyways >.> Positive body image…something I must work on.
Tama is in my Soul · Sat Jul 28, 2007 @ 01:54am · 5 Comments |