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I cant look at you.
The tears swell in my eyes,
but its not enough.
Enough to break through the dam.
The concrete barricade around my heart.
Marks and scratches,
never a crack.
As I sit inside,
floating in the sea.
Alone, no one can reach me.
I honor them for trying.
Splashing and flailing,
maybe one day I'll drown.
Untill someone smashes a hole,
for all the water to drain.
Rescue my desprate soul,
from myself.
So along those lines I wait,
bound to secluded walls,
enclosed in fate.
Petrified.
Theres another way.
A door, never opend, never touched, sealed shut.
By far through swollen eyes, the hardest way in.
I could only imagine, josteling the brass knob.
For someone on the other side, wanting to see me.
I tried to pull it open.
To greet a fimilar face.
But in those illusions, the little island with a wood frame.
The door, the brass knobed door,kept me inside.
Locked,
away from freedom,
away, with all the pressure of the sea.
Slowly engulfing the little island, the water surrounds me.
Dreams can become reality
Reiterating over & over, a message from my mind.
The door stands infront, towering over me.
Numb & stiff I stand
Water grasping my feet, shifting like quicksand.
A steady hand reaching for a shiny brass escape.
Excited or nervous, a mixture of both.
upon the cold knob, a quick turn and a click.
The door I thought was locked all along.
I had opened it.
Histatic, flinging it in an uproaring triumph.
Was someone waiting all along?
Ready to greet them with a securily saved smile.
I'd be free.
Finally.
Wide open,
beyond the rickedy wood frame.
Lay a vas amount of lush green fields.
A weeping willow tree placed in the center
of fresh spring flowers.
Accompanied by a bright blue sky.
And waiting for me in the middle of this spector.
was no one.
The long time securily saved smile, faded.
Dissapointment swirled in puddles that leaked from my eyes.
But there was something there.
Just not what I wanted.
A mirror.
I glanced in, saw nothing.
My reflection, empty as the cracks engraved through the fragile glass body.
I ran back through the door.
The door I longed and imagined for
Slamed and locked it.
With all my strength, I toppled it over.
Into the sea.
Where it sank to the bottom,
with the rest of me.