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As if I didn't have enough on my mind already.
It's been over a week, and my father still does not speak to neither my mother nor to I unless he absolutely has to. It's ******** bullshit. And then yesterday I went to Lewiston with my mom instead of going home where I'd have to put up with my dad's s**t. So we go to Lewiston and we drop my little brother off at the dojo(He takes Karate lessons: Fourth degree brown belt, training for his black belt). Anywho, we drop my lil brother off and then we go to go get groceries from Rosaurs (sp?). Anywho. While we're in Ros....the grocery store...my mom and I get to talking about all the bullshit that's been going on with dad and she said that after I move out in a year and Michael, lil bro, moves out in five years, that probably either Dad or Mom will leave too. She said that if it weren't for me and Michael living at home that they would probably be divorced right now and that it's only for our sake that they stay together. I told mom that, I've told this to some of my girlfriends who have trouble with their boyfriends...I tell that they need to tell their boyfriend that he either needs to pull his head out of his a** or say buh bye. And they're usually happier after they do, even if they do wind up leaving the guy. And I told mom this and mom's response was "Yes, I know I would be happier if we were not together anymore, but I just don't want to do that to you and Michael." And I looked at her and just bluntly said "Mom, he's makin it hell for me to." Which he is! Taking away my car for standing up for what I think is right. Especially when that thing is helping my bestfriend/sister when she's in need of help and asked me for it. Yea...Dad's being a total jerk and has 'a*****e Mode' turned on high. He needs to pull his head out of his a** is what he needs to do. Anywho...I got off subject....Anywho...Several years back I had a ...umm...well...I was suicidal and my friend Kendra got me help for it...but when it happened, I had been having issues with my father at that time as well and my dad came out and asked me if I wanted him out of the house and that if I did, he would leave. I wanted so much for him to be gone, but instead of thinking of myself and having him leave. I told him to stay because I didn't want to tear the family apart and ruin things for mom and michael. And no mom tells me she'd be happier without him. And I mean yea...That's just a giant weight being placed in the mind right there. Your mom telling you that shed be happier if she wasn't living with your father....Yea and then telling you that the only reason they stay together is because of you and your sibling are still living at home. Yea...just add another dumb-bell to that stack of weights in my mind. ....As if I didn't have enough on my mind already!
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