I never was the best person to being telling a story, or write the begining of a paper... I always thought that the begining and the endings of a truely great piece of literature had to be excellent.The perfect begining...and perfect end....No I had always said that there was no standard for perfection...so thus the only standard we could follow was imperfection... I know its deep , but thats kinda how I think. Today is June the 11th, 2007. Today I leave the place I grew up, the place I was raised. I have always been someone who I would consider different from everyone else.I never knew how, nor do I at this moment. I have spent most of my life pondering this and many other things, Life, Religion, Hate, Love, and other various things many people ponder.While growing up I guided myself mainly through life, due to the fact I had a uncaring family, who were always doing something ignorant. I moved many times, changed many friends. Life was cruel...I was undeserving of a punishment to a crime I didnt commit..Yet the punishment had been laid upon me anyway, but...I would rather not take it back if I could...See growing up alone made me many things Strong, Smart, Well liked, and easy going. I wanted to type "kind" in there, but I must be honest... I wasn't always a nice guy...Sure people have always enjoyed being around me,but did I enjoy them? I hurt people..I lashed out at them verbally.Striking their emotions and pulling on their "heart strings".Though I was independant...I was also cruel...Like life was to me.... Time went on... and my mind began to expand... and I began to realize my loner state of mind...I seeked a companion...I searched...as far as my eye could see...and saw nothing...but hurt and lies...But this tale doesn't end here...For on this very site Gaiaonline.com I found the love of my life... in barton towns 001092 center... almost a year too that day... I am leaving the place I have called home for nearly 20 years...(only 19 and a few months really [truthfully.. Probably less than that]) Its 3:53am ET My step father who hasnt made my life exactly peachy..Has just went to work... I bided him farewell. I had a few friends over the last couple of days... I bided them farewell...My brother called and his girlfriend...I bided them farwell... Now.. at 6:00am ET...I will say farewell to this place.... and my mother...The woman who has cause much ruin and pain in my life...I will bid a farewell too...Now...I suppose I should be happy to shead burden... Yet my limbs are tense and my mind is a fog.A dense fog in which I cannot see through. There is only one thing that can guide me...My heart... Who lives 431 miles away (according to google maps).Now...I can't help but to wonder if this is the right move to make.To "throw" myself out the door like I am...To rely on others I am not as accustom to, and the answer is... I don't...I don't know if what I am doing is right, and the thing is.... Even if I did know... It wouldn't stop me from going...So I write this entry...To do two things in which...I dont know if they are the perfect desicion...two things....imperfectly...two things...I Normally have difficulty doing...
I write this...
To End one chapter of my life...and To Begin a new one....Peace heart
View User's Journal
Mind of a mad man....
These are just thoughts I guess...
User Comments: [3] [add]
|
Stepi17 Community Member |
Demon Emerald
Community Member |
|
User Comments: [3] [add]
Community Member