Im geting really sick of life...I feel like i really dont have any friends that accally care about me....But i know i do...Because everyones always telling me that they love me...and always giveing me hugs.... so i know i have people here for me...It just really feels like i dont have anyone that truly cares about me...And its really buging me...And latly my two best friends (well i dont honestly know if there my best friends because isnt a best friend were you doing like everything togeather that that best friend...has you as a best friend...because i honestly dont know if im their best friend)...katie and maria...not aaronnia or megen....because aaronnia and megen are the greatest people ever...you will always have fun with aaronnia and megen.But anywho... i just dont know whats going on with maria and katie...because one day they deside to like not hangout with me...unless they are like super bored...and the next day...they would be like Oh my gosh...your so great...it just makes me upset...because i know im nothing really like those guys...But yet...i really cant live without them...because those two people are like the only ones that makes me feel happy..and will make me smile when they want me to smile....But when im around like aaronnia or megen...I can just be my self...i can do whatever i want...and they will be like...thats so great....and they will have fun with it...and if i mess up...they wouldnt be mad at me...they would just be like...em...why did you do that...Or what was that for? And i would tell them...or whatever...and they would be like...its fine dont worry about it...bc i know you...and you dont do that much often...unless somthing is really pissing you off...and then everything would be perfect...and when im around katie and maria and i do somthing wrong...they will just completly ignore me....and wont talk to me...intill they stop being mad...and like thats forever...but really makes me mad about that one...is they wont even tell me what i did...and that pisses me off...But i love katie and maria to dealth...just somtimes i just wish they could be alot better friends. if you know what i mean.
And all thats not really helping me out when i have to move...and when everyday when i get home i get called a worthless b***h....and i have to do EVERYTHING for my little brother...Because he cant do nothing on his own anymore...So i have no idea what do next....because i want to be able to have a life....And beable to go to a friends house...and then leave that friends house with that friend and go wounder around town...and have a camra on us and be able to take a ton of pictures...and just beable to have fun with my life...and have great friends that i can do with stuff like everyday...and we wont get sick of each other....And thats honestly most of the reason im moving...bc in beloit...all you see is group of friends having a good time...wounder the streets when its dark...and they wont have to take care of people...And they dont feel like they dont have any true friends....and i feel that way in beloit....because i am myself..and i act like i do when i lived in the country...and i dont care what people think of me...but up here i do...and i dont know why...i just cant be all wild and free like i can down their....and honestly thats like the only reason im moving....im not moving because of my mom...i dealed with her my hole life..dont you like i could deal with her only 4 more years? well i can...so i guess if things get better up here...i probly wont move....but if things stay the same...you guys will never be able to see me again...because im not coming back...
Well i guess i kinda wrote alot...and yah..well im going to go...
bye.
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I LOVE MY REAL FRIENDS.
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