Hope

• Artist: vampiress911
• Description: It's a depressing poem that I wrote a while back. Just so you people know, the boy isn't anyone imparticular. If people like it then I'll write more. Please comment and be has harsh as you need to be (but only if it'll help my writing).
• Date: 09/28/2008
• Tags: hope poem depressing

HOPE

They stare a those shiny, wet things,
Running down my cheeks.
They don't try to help,
They don't look sympathetic,
They don't care.

Wait,
What's that?
There's a face,
A face that looks different,
He looks like he cares.

Could he?
Could he care?
No,
Maybe he's looking at someone else,
Thinking about someone else.
He probably doesn't know I exist.

Comments

[Two-bit FoxTrot]

0.o

[the_ashen_child]

I like it. its simple and i can relate to the feeling. if it was me i would totally care!

[ll GodzillaPwnzz ll]

Sorry, I don't like it. It's not so creative. I thought it was hope. But it isn't!

[Toastbusters]

Yuck yuck yuck! This is not emotion, it's mundane. Something real, I want something real; stop pretending you're in these situations and write something that YOU have been in.
Writer-hopefuls of the world! Ignore your Dr.Seuss upbringing, cast off your imagination, give me a REAL experience for once!
Because obviously your fairy-tale worlds are just regurgitating the same whiny lies again and again and again until forever until death until epiphany!

[Reflections of a Giraffe]

I'd have to agree with Coatimundi. : also it's just too short. the way you leave off makes it pass as if he was staring at somebody else. Since you aren't actually going through the situation, this kind of poem just comes off as empty.

[Terraformed]

I wouldn't call this depressing as much as whiney-teenage-emo.

[SleepiiHeadd]

Hope is a great title for this poem..but its probably not much of a depressing poem to me, it would be better if you are experiencing the situation yourself.
overall its pretty good.