• It wasn't until the day that I found myself sitting in the back of my closet, hands wrapped around my knees, shaking for no apparent reason, that I understood what they meant. About wanting to stay in the dark forever and not move. About being scared.

    And I was scared... I mean, I am scared. About everything. I want to step into a bubble and never come out. I sat in that closet for hours, wallowing in my unapparent misery, and thinking about, well, anything and everything that came to my mind. The fear could be basically described in one word: Change.

    I don't want to leave the days of late night studying and early morning jogging. I cant leave the hours spent playing Dance Dance Revolution and the life that has taken me so many years so become accustomed to. I seems like only yesterday I looked upon graduating with anticipation, a whole new world open to my creation! Then again, it was only yesterday.

    It's funny how a few hours can seemingly change your life. My friends and after-school debate meetings are replaced by sweats and bills. I know in the pit of my heart nothing will ever be the same again, and dispite the half of me that is telling myself that things will get better, I know that it is only harder from here.

    Imagine the things I would give just to stop time. Let the problems dissolve into thin air, and go back to the days of sitting in my closet having nothing to do but think. It's hard to enjoy the bliss days when you know what lies ahead.