*sigh* there are a number or resos imsad ugh like i fell hard for someone..but..i just to afrid and come out and tell them how i feel i feel like ima cry when i talk to them..i just brush off all the girls they talk about..but its slowly killing me... like i cant stand to sit by while they just leave me..i hate it i feel so helpless.. i just cant stand it.. i wanna tell them..so badly..i just wanna talk 2 mikey right now...when i talk 2 him i feel happy..now im offical crying right now i wish i can tell them how i feel for real..but for now i just keep quiet...as im slowly dieing inside..they always tease me with there love...saying they love me..but i know..they only truely love me as a friend..but im soooo in love with them..damn why cant i get over him...i just need mikey right now he alway know what 2 say..or i should talk 2 curtis..he is nice 2 ..i want my teddy back...purple teddy if your reading this please call..i feel so helpless..right now..your alway here for me..i wish you could hug me...i think he just dont know how much he is hurting me right now but..hey atleast i have him as a friend..and didnt lose him...i guess i sit here and listen to the used all night long till the pain goes away..the used always help the pain numbi love the song the bird and the worm...*sigh* im so cold im shakey..im all paranody..i just want it to go away..i want him to be mine..or just leave..because i love him so ******** can he go away ..i wish i havent met him..so i wouldnt have felt this pain..but then i wouldny have the happy memorys of his voice..of his face..i would have nothing..this is just makeing me cry more..im very cold now..it feels like my heart is shatterd to amillion pieaces cuz i know i could..never have him..never never..never....i guess..i just useless right now..i should..give up gaia..i should give up loveing..give up everything..be blank..seprate myself from everything..and everyone..become silent..only to speak if i have 2.. emo it feels like im being erased..why cant i get him out my head..oh well..ima just turn off my phone lay down with covers over my head and cry..and listen to the used..after all ..music is my life..music keeps me breathing..music is my boyfriend..oh and mikey if you happen to be reading this..(insider) no we are not getting divorced over my depression and i know you are worried about me..ima be ok.. sweatdrop xp and love you<married to my bestfriend>(end of insider)
