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Today, my male baby parakeet Skyy, died. I've had Skyy, and his adopted sister (or maybe even mother) Starr for 7 months. When I got home from my friend's house, I uncovered the cage, and he was lying on the bottom of his cage, and Starr was at the top staring at me like, "Why did you let this happen?" the first thing I did was yell, "SKYY! SKYY!" but he didn't move, he was dead. I cried, and I cried. I questioned myself, questioned everything about me, then I ran up to my mom's room, and told her with tears burning down my face, and I could hardly speak but I said, "Mom, Skyy's dead." she ran out of her room and into mine, when she looked, she told me I was right. When she went downstairs to get plastic gloves, I went into the hallway too and started banging my head against the bathroom door, I also crawled into a fetal position and started to say, "No, I didn't.......no not me.......not my fault.......no, no, no.......please, no......I didn't mean to......." then, my uncle came upstairs with my mom and started to comfort me. But as much as he told me it was not my fault, I couldn't and wouldn't believe him. My mom took Skyy out, and wrapped him in tinfoil, then put him down, Starr was still staring at me, still questioning me, but I couldn't even answer. Then, we cleaned out the bottom of the cage, and we brought Skyy downstairs. Before my mom had wrapped him, I asked to see him, it looked like he might've had an eye missing, but I'm not sure. When we got downstairs my mom said she'd just put him on the washer, but I refused and asked to hold him, tears started coming down my face again, and I started to pray for him. My uncle said the ground was frozen, so he just put Skyy in the garage. As soon as that was done, I changed the food and water. Starr did still look like she had hope in her eyes for Skyy's return, but no, he wouldn't return. Then, I called my friend (_X_spellbound_X_ is her gaia name), and started crying again, this time I cried with her. We talked, and talked for an hour and a half, she made me little bird figurians of Starr and Skyy, then my cousin came over, and those parakeets originally belonged to her, so my uncle told her, but she didn't even care! I didn't act angry, but I was. I spent time with Starr, but she kept turning her back at me, she must've figured out Skyy wasn't coming back, so she was mad at me, of all people! I guess I deserved it though, I'm gonna write a follow up tomorrow, so you can read that too. One thing I have been doing since 5:30 is question myself, my mind has been scrambled since November when my 14 year old senior cat, Honey died, but now it's even more scrambled and confused.
 Day_dreamer_3173_ · Thu Mar 03, 2005 @ 03:09am · 0 Comments |
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