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Somewhere between angels and flies... |
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...Was where Aramis and Schmerz hung in limbo.
Granted, Aramis had a lot on his plate. He'd fathered two children that were born barely a month apart and spent most of his time rushing back and forth between the two, since the parents of both had little or no interest in seeing each other at all. For a good while he'd stayed with Honnete and cared for Adrianna, leaving Schmerz to raise Azrael on his own. Then, when guilt began to gnaw away at him, he shipped off to the little room above the cafe and stayed with Schmerz to care for Azrael. Still, with all his efforts, there was still one parent left alone to care for their child while he assisted in raising the other. He no doubt wanted to be there, fully, for both his children, though that would be impossible the way things were now. Often times he thought he should have simply toughed it out with Honnete, weathered the storm and settled down with her for the long run. He'd put a ring on her finger, after all, and though their engagement fell apart, he still daydreamed every so often about what it might have been like to call her "wife" in a term more literal than affectionate. Still, as things didn't work out no matter their efforts, it certainly seemed that the couple simply was not meant to be. They were better friends than lovers, and had certainly gotten along better now that they were separated. Aramis was all smiles and hugs when he visited, far different from the hostilities exchanged when they were living together.
In light of his separation with Honnete, Aramis tried (again) to form a relationship with his former fiance, Schmerz. Their engagement had dissoved a mere two weeks before their wedding date and was somewhat of a catalyst in his hurried relationship with Honnete. He'd gone into emotional shock, and clung to the nearest person to him which would give him affection and the promise of a fulfilling family life. He'd bought into the lie he'd told himself and ended up paying the price for it: a rushed engagement, a haphazard union, and a child born out of wedlock. And although his daughter filled him with light like no other, he still wished he'd been married to her mother when she was born. It was the very least of what he owed her. Well, both of them, to be exact. As it turned out, however, he was back at the cafe, sharing a room with Schmerz. And although he no longer doubted his enthusiasm for this son born to the man he loved, he still had no blessed idea of the status of their relationship. Sure, they exchanged hugs and kisses. Sure, they held hands and whispered "I love you"s into each other's ears. And sure, they laughed and cried and fell asleep in each other's arms. But Aramis didn't know whether or not Schmerz wanted to give their relationship another shot. So far, they've been living together as something more than friends, yet less than lovers. It was a confusing intermediate, a "purgatory" of sorts where he had neither the dangers nor the security of calling Schmerz his own. At any time, either of them could be snuggled up in another person's arms and what could they say to object? Practically nothing.
There was no committment between them other than the mutual dedication to their son. In reality, his living arrangement with Schmerz was pretty much the same as his visits with Honnete: friendly, amicable, and in the best interests of the child they shared. He wanted some sort of affirmation, something to tell him that yes, maybe things really would work out this time.
But if that answer was coming, it sure was taking an awful long time to get here.
 Bleeding Apocalypse · Sun Dec 17, 2006 @ 02:46pm · 0 Comments |
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