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"Perhaps I should go find Aramis," you think to yourself. |
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*You woke up particularly early this morning, a certain lightness in your step. The sun had yet to rise over the horizon, but still there was enough light to tinge the infant sky with a dull grayish-blue. Within moments, you are dressed and headed out the door, making your way to the Plastered Pig. Halfway there, you remember that Aramis has since quit that place, citing it to be a bad influence on his drinking and smoking habit. What was the name of the place he was moving to? The Parrot's Beak? No... The Bear's Claw? No, it wasn't that feral... The Frogg's Throaat! That's it! Quickly, you turn around and head southeast, towards the Meenonite village of South Frogg's Throat, where Aramis would surely be, residing in its namesake bar. You trudge up along a particularly large hill, and when you finally reach its apex, you are surprised to see Aramis lying on his back on the bottom of the hill, as still as anyone could be. In a panic, you run down the hill, calling out to him.*
"Huh? Oy, what's all this noise?" Aramis says, sitting up and looking behind him. His eyes, squinting in an effort to recognize the person before him, suddenly widen with familiarity. "Hey!" he smiles, "It's you! How have you been? Come on over; let's sit and talk for a while."
*You make your way down to the bottom of the hill and take a seat beside Aramis. You note that his clothes no longer cling to the smell of cigarettes and alcohol, and he seems to be taking in every breath with reverence and adoration.*
"Sunrise will begin in a few minutes," he says, bringing a knee up to his chest and resting his weight against his palms. "I always did favor a sunrise rather than a sunset. Almost anyone can catch a sunset. It's the end of the day, most of your work is done. It's a luxury, to see the earth's lamplight turn out for the evening. But a sunrise is truly spectacular. You have to commit to waking up early enough to catch those first rays of light washing over the landscape. You have to really want it. It's been forever since I've seen the sun rise."
*You both sit there quietly, staring straight ahead. Slowly, the dull gray of the impending dawn begins to melt away, chased off by a brilliant tinge of electric tangerine. Eventually, a burning, lava-red sphere raises its head over the horizon, and the green grass beneath you is awash with crimson light and a newfound warmth. Only mildly fascinated with your newly hued world, you turn to look at Aramis. His eyes are half-closed, but still, he stares into the newly risen sun, his sharp Xorian features aglow in the sun's first rays. You feel a sudden twinge in your chest. Perhaps it was sympathy...? You don't know anything about this man beside you other than what he's willing to tell, and yet there is something in his eyes that says he wishes he could reveal it all. Pity. That's what it was, that feeling. Pity.*
"I've decided that I want to remain single," he begins again, taking out a small piece of string and smoothing his hair back into a ponytail. "Too much nonsense in relationships... untrustworthy partners also contribue to the decision, though. It seems that the more I give, the more people are willing to take advantage of me. I hate it when people mistake my kindness for weakness. If they only knew what I'd done in the past to liars. I guess it can't be helped, though. It seems everyone I try and build a relationship with turns out to be either incredibly loose or already attached. I can only blame others so much. Perhaps it's the sort of person I attract. I don't know why, but I seem to have all the really dirty ones flock towards me. Usually, I turn them away. But sometimes, I make the misfortune of letting one of them get under my skin..."
*with his hair now in a tight ponytail, he lies back on the grass, staring up into the sky. His mind drifts back to the young man he can barely call his lover.*
"But I'm over that now. I'm ready to drop that one, as fast as I possibly can. I've been trying to better myself, you know. I'm proud to say that I haven't been smoking as much as I used to lately. I was a horrible chain smoker, you know--one right after the other. I could go through a pack in an hour. But I've been a lot better lately. Hell, I even started drinking coffee. Isn't that strange? Caffine. I never drink coffee. I guess I'm trying to replace one vice with another. When I look back, though, I'm a much better person now than I ever was before, even when I was a kid. Isn't that a sad statement? I was far more violent, far more cruel and hateful when I was fifteen than I am today. A child with an evil heart. If there's anything in the world to truly fear, it is an evil child... because children do not know shame or consequence. They act on impulse. Sometimes, I wish I could revert to that. I could do what I feel is necessary... act in what way pleases me most... and be nearly sanctified in my actions because I am a child, and in the eyes of other, wouldn't be capable of understanding, comprehending my own limitless evil. I could quite literally get away with murder."
*You watch as he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a cigarette. But instead of lighting it, he simply places the object between his lips, chewing on the filter.* "I said I haven't been smoking lately," he mutters. "I didn't say I quit completely yet. In any case, I've got to do something else to occupy my time now that the cigarettes are on their way out, right? In fact, I think I'll just have this cigarette and lie here a while. You're welcome to stay, if you wish."
*You take him up on his offer and stretch out, gleefuly taking in the morning light. You glance over at Aramis and watch as he pulls off both his shirts and rolls them up into a mass of lumped green. He places it under his head as a makeshift pillow, still chewing on the cigarette filter. Just for a moment, as he turns to adjust the cloth beneath his head, you can catch a glimpse of the word 'Gemmei'-- 'Kissie' in Al Bhed-- tattooed on his left shoulder. Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Maybe he thought of her...? You want to ask, but decide that this isn't the time to bring such a subject up. Instead, now is the time to enjoy the silence. You lie back and fall into a light sleep beneath the glorious, warm morning.*
 Bleeding Apocalypse · Mon Feb 07, 2005 @ 06:41pm · 0 Comments |
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