Today was a very depressing day for me. The reason why i am depressed because of what my friends are DOING to themselves. Like they cut there wrist and they over dose on pain killer pills. They think that it is no big deal and they are only hurting themselves for the better, but they are not. When they hurt themselves they are hurting there friends also. Like everytime one of my friends are sad or depressed and not smiling. My emotion change to sad and depressing and I don't feel like smiling. When they cut there wrist and say it is no big deal. I want to cut my wrist and say it is no big deal. they think that when they are hurting themselves they aren't hurting anyone else. Actually they are pretty much hurting there friends also.
Depressing is the ONLY emotion that i hate the most in my life. I am fine with sadness, anger, and rage. But the only emotion that i DON'T except is depression. Depression makes you feel like you don't belong in the world.It makes you feel unloved and that you are alone. It makes you feel like you are better off DEAD then living. Well you are wrong at that. Because you have friends and family that love you and they want you to stay with them and make them laugh a smile by atleast seeing your face around. My friends are like my family. I really LOVE my friends and i want NOTHING and i repeat NOTHING bad to happen to them. Cause if they atleast hurt themselves or actually KILL themsevles. I sort of feel REPONSIABLE for the reason why she is being hurt and stuff and i feel like i don't DESERVE to be her friend. and when she does kill herself.....then i probably don't feel like i have a reason for living anymore. Cause my friends...are the reason why i live in this world. they make me smile,laugh,cry, and enjoy the way of life. And i don't want to lose that feeling.
Those are the thoughts and feelings and worries that i apperiance every single day of my life.
 -StaarShinee- · Mon Sep 25, 2006 @ 09:08pm · 6 Comments |
Walls around my heart that can't be knocked down by force, but of pure love.
You Are A Symphony Of Stardust....
