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ha, I do point out the obvious, don't I? lol. I'm totally random right now. I found this whole page of song lyrics and randomness that I wrote down this one time. Front and back, all great. Actually, I may have posted it once sweatdrop Probably not, since I would've been a little afraid part of it would've offended you. Probably not, but that's me being me.
spizz just dyed her hair. I can't tell if it's black or brown, but it looks good. I like it. It's really funny, but she's alot different from what i thought she was like. More in touch with reality than alot of other people. She gets that life isn't all hearts and flowers, but she knows that the flowers are there, even when they're hard to find.
Ha, Stefan FINALLY got back on. I might just ask that crazy guy where he's been. Probably in Lafayette, hanging with his friends. He's so funny.
I'm getting much better at telling when things are gonna happen. It's not just dreams, I've discovered. Sometimes my breath catches, and it's like when I was sick in 8th grade, the coughing and all. It's kinda scary, not knowing if I'm going to be able to breathe or not. My stomach lurches sometimes. That usually means someone I've been thinking about is nearby. Like Chris the other day. heart I haven't seen him in forever, well, I haven't talked to him in forever.
My parents say he likes me. idk, but he does give me a hug when I see him. And his brother isn't around, lol. I wonder.... Sometimes, the way my parents act, it's like they either know something I don't ((like that he likes me)), or they just want me to like him ((and thereby be with a very "nice" boy, guy, w/e they say...oh yea, it's "young man" wink ) Even if he does like me...idk what happens then. oh well. These two guys at Rummel asked me if I was Chris's gf. I said no. Duh. but it was really strange, and all that jazz. Erin thought it was funny. She would rolleyes
lol, I just noticed that my Silver Dollar City shirt actually says "Someone in Silver Dollar City loves me!" lol, that's funny rofl
ha, I need a different thing for my profile. The Saturn one is kinda, well, depressing. Something pink or blue, maybe. And silly, it has to be silly. Or cute! I heart cuteness!
Weirdly, I've been in a really good mood all the time lately. Maybe it's just that I had to stop my stupid experimentz. hmm, that must've been it. My experimentz were really dumb. I use the "z" at the end b/c they're not normal experiments. I'm my own guinea pig, in a way. Nothing overly dangerous, mind. Well, okay, so the last one got out of control for awhile. Alright, it was way out of control. But reading and experiencing are two different things, and I hate reading up on that stuff. And I did regain enough control in the end. A week-long vacation does help xd YEa, just a little break from the mundane, depressing world that was my life.
Not anymore, though. It's much more happiness. Not totally interesting or even kinda normal, but getting there. Can't ask for interesting. But normal, my definition anyway, is hanging out with friends sometimes. More than once every few months. More like, once or twice a month or whatever. Knowing you've got friends there for you, who care about you. It's my biggest wish. I'll have to work hard to make friends, and even harder to be a good friend, which I'm bad at, I know I know, but it could happen. Maybe. Yea.
Woah, look what a momentary lack of self-confidence does to me. Geez, now there is the source of alot of my problems. Though if some people saw me right now, they'd be like "woah, who's that? she's not acting like sara."
The only bad thing is that sometimes when I'm really happy, I feel even more trapped inside my own head. Caught, unable to escape that one part of me that hates what I've become. llegar a ser. To come to be. To become. But, I can't totally hate myself. That's what the people like you are for. ^^
Uh, I don't mean that in a mean way or anything. It's just that I shouldn't hate myself when there's already people doing it for me. I don't hate them, though. I don't understand hate. I dislike some people, intensely dislike a few, but hating them is totally beyond me. Everyone is a brat when they're in middle school. It's a fact of life. The girls are catty, the boys are rude. Can't blame them for the way they were. Immaturity. I don't think they realized how much they hurt me. I can't hate them for what they didn't know. idk, maybe it's just one of those things that makes me so me. Little personality quirk.
Most of them have stupid reasons for hating me. Oh, so I beat Terry for highest average. BIG DEAL. No one's going to care in a year! I don't. I've always hated being singled out for that. How can anyone justify hating me for that?
Then there's the few who really do have good reasons, great reasons, reasons I agree with. Hey, go ahead, I won't argue. I was an a**, now have fun hating me. Yea, if only the rest of them could see this. They'd just die. I wouldn't have said something like that before, but it's true. lol. Me being honest. Never works out, but that's okay. Life isn't a popularity contest. But no one wants to be hated by alot of people. I like to think of it as a few people hate me and a bunch are just idiots pretending.
mmmm, I just thought of something. Your schedule was all screwed up, right? Well, maybe it'll be different when school starts and we get our real schedules. Could be a good thing or a bad thing. School is like Russian Roulette. You''ve got a good chance of making it through okay, but there's still a chance you'll get slammed. Ouch. I suppose we'll see. Perhaps the names were just screwed up and it'll stay the same. Maybe not. School idiots. Ha, just remembered "Math's Nightmare" from Neopets. Let's hope there isn't a math nightmare this year. that wouldn't be any fun. I like math!!!!!!!!
"No more the myst'ries and lies"
~nepie
 nepie · Sun Jul 02, 2006 @ 02:13am · 0 Comments |
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