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Once in high school, my English teacher was giving us a lecture and asked us what would happen if all the Asian people in the world disappeared. A girl at the front of the class gasped and exclaimed, "Then there wouldn't be anyone to do our nails!" My teacher looked at me and asked in perfect Cantonese if she should get an F. I said yes. Never before has being Asian felt so powerful. MLIA
Today, I found out they have a Harry Potter world in Universal Studios. They also have a store where you can get your own wand made just for you. I think I know where I'm going for my next vacation. MLIA
Today, I put up a Dumbledore's Army sheet on my school's bulletin board. By the end of the day it was full, and another sheet had been tacked on for extra names. I go to med school. These people are gonna be doing your brain surgeries. MLIA
Today, I realized that the people at my school use the word 'asian' as a skill level and not as an ethnicity. MLIA
Today my mom told me that I used to speak only in meows when I was little. I didn't believe her until she brought out the videos. MLIA
Today my mom was driving me to school. We were listening to the radio when a Justin Beiber song came on. My mom, trying to be smart and current, said "Is this a new Miley Cyrus song?" I told her it was a boy, and she had to pull over to laugh for 5 minutes. I was late for school, but I think it was worth it. MLIA.
My science teacher from last year told me that during her oceanogrphy class a week or so ago, her fiancée texted her. While replying, she recieved 3 more texts: one from a girl in the class telling her to stop texting, the second from another girl in the class asking who she's texting, and the third from a guy in the class asking if he could go to the nurse and he was too lazy to go up to the front of the room for a pass. MLIA
today i walked into Algebra 2 class and found these two blonde girls tapping there temples going "OMG, it is hollow." My crush was standing there next to them with a guilty grin on his face. I think i might ask him out. MLIA
Today, while I was driving in the school parking lot, my exboyfriend walked in front of my car to be spiteful. I tapped the gas and bumped his knee. He jumped back and stared at me in disbelief. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and quickly scrawled, "You won't be so lucky next time" and stuck it in the window. His friends all died laughing. MLIA.
Today in English class we started to cover Hamlet. To explain fencing to us my teacher had a girl who fences in our class battle her with a yard stick. I've never seen so many people whip out their camera phones so fast. MLIA
This morning my friend told me he got in an accident last night. Turns out he was rear-ended on Gay Street. I'm still laughing. MLIA
Last night, my brother got a bloody nose. Instead of doing the no-brainer thing of getting a tissue and wiping off the blood, he went to the bathroom with his camera, smeared the blood all over his face, jutted out his jaw and took a picture so it looked like he was some cannibal monster. I don't know what to think of this...but I find it quite funny for a fifth grader. MLIA
Today, I ate scooby-doo, pokemon, and harry potter shaped mac and cheese in one bowl. I feel like I ate MLIA. MLIA
Today, I read an MLIA about someone finding a dumb law in Texas that said "Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday." Well, obviously, they were drinking beer while making this law smile MLIA.
Today, we learned about Renaissance scientists in history. Every time our teacher said 'Galileo,' me and my friend started to sing Bohemian Rhapsody. Eventually the teacher joined us. MLIA
Today, my class went on a field trip to Medieval Times. They give you a card with the color of the knight you are supposed to be cheering for such as red or yellow. My card was white. I went up to my asian friend and said, "are you white?" he responded "no, im yellow." I started laughing until I realized his card actually was yellow. MLIA
Today, in my math class, another math teacher walked in to talk to mine. He finihed his conversation, but as he was leaving he said to my teacher (a woman), "So I hear you scored last night?" She smiled and said that yes, she had. She then turned to us, her face bright red, and said, "In hockey." Good to know she thinks like we do. MLIA
Today, I found out that when I was in kindergarten, my teacher told my dad that she thought I might have been a little 'slow'. His response? "No, she's just observing everything so that she can find a way to take over this place for her own." Thank you, dad. MLIA
Today my teacher was very bored, as were we. He then gave us an index card that had "How to Occupy an Idiot (turn over)" written on it. One kid turned it over to find "How to Occupy an Idiot (turn over) written on the backside. It took him 4 card turns to figure out the card. MLIA
Today, I was eating breakfast, and I was finishing a piece of toast. I happened to look down after I took a bite to see that it looked like a dinosaur. I was playing with it and my mum glanced over saying, "Stop playing with your foo-OOH! DINOSAUR!" I love my mum. MLIA
Today, me and and some friends were standing in the room back stage during drama practice. Having a sudden burst of inspiration, I yelled out that the floor was lava. Instantly, more than half of the room full of people jumped up on chairs and tables. We then proceeded to make a path out of chairs that led to the stage, which was declared to be the safe zone. Ten minutes of cooperative work later, we made it and high fived all around. I love drama kids <3
Today my best friend and I decided to become a couple for 30 minutes, just to get everyone to shut up about it. When time was up, everyone gathered around to watch me give him an extremely convincing breakup speech, while crying and holding his hand. He then proceeded to fake a heart-attack, scream at the top of his lungs begging me to stay with him and then ran away into the distance telling us he no longer had a reason to exist. This is a pretty normal day for us. MLIA
Today while looking through a Spanish-English dictionary I noticed the Spanish word for manhood is a feminine word. MLIA
I live in the city of Cumming, Georgia. They ingeniously built a d**k's Sporting Goods across from a Bjs. Well played city planners, well played. MLIA
Today, on my way home from school, I read an MLIA about someone going room to room ninja style to make sure there were no intruders. Liking this idea, I proceeded to do the same in my own house expecting to be home alone. When I ninja-rolled into the den, my 25 year old brother didn't even look at me when he told me not to worry, he had already ninjaed the whole house. I'm so glad we're related. MLIA
Today my roommate learned why I shouldn't be left alone for a week. When they arrived back, they were greeted with a four foot three-d pyramid of soda cans in the middle of our dorm room. Needless to say, cans have been prohibited from our room and I am no longer allowed to attempt to recreate the pyramids
Today, I discovered a bird outside my window who fooled me into thinking he was my alarm clock. Three times. Well played birdie, well played. It's going to be a long summer. MLIA
Today, my brother and I thought we would be funny and swap clothes for the day. We went out shopping with our mum dressed as each other and an old lady came up to us and said that we were a cute couple. I don't know what scares me the most. The fact my brother is twelve and slightly overweight whereas I am a seventeen year old girl of slender build, the fact my brother can pull off short shorts or the fact our mother told the women that we were engaged. MLIA
Today, while in my all-guys careers class me and my friends spent almost the entire time making "that's what she said" jokes from what the teacher said and they all flew over his head. Some of the best ones were, "This isn't that hard", "Doing this in groups of three will make this harder" "This was easier with the girls" and "You guys need to move into different positions" (he was talking about our seating arrangements). MLIA
Today, I realised that one of the things that annoys me most is when i read MLIA and catch up to where i was the day before. MLIA.
Today, I didn't take my ADD meds, because i was in a hurry. I was very random and loud, and now I have three different girl's numbers, two new friends, and a date tomorrow. I may never take my meds again. MLIA
Today we were doing an activity in English where we had to read a section of Romeo and Juliet while impersonating an occupation (fireman, spy, hairdresser, American Idol contestant, etc.). So I pick a random card and my English teacher starts laughing and says, "I don't know if I could see you as this!" (I've always been more quiet unless I have something to say.) I of course get WWE wrestler. I screamed the entire thing, threw a stool at a kid that no one likes, and smacked 3 people upside the head while walking up and down the rows. Guess who's the new favorite girl in class? MLIA
Today, I was leaning against a wall at school and one of my guy friends (I'm a guy too) put his arms against the wall on either side of me and asked "Am I making you uncomfortable?" I proceeded to hug him. He freaked out. I win. MLIA
 kaieunown13 · Fri May 14, 2010 @ 02:48am · 0 Comments |
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