Why was it so complicated?
All of it was so complicated.
Every feeling ever felt
Every thought ever thought..
Everything was so…is ******** complicated.
Shades of gray…
Shades of blue…
Shades of pink…
Gold…
Purple…
Red…
Green…
Red…
Gold…
Green…
But never black…
Never white…
Just…
Complicated.
It’s never been
You and me
Equals
Love
It never follows
Those ******** lines
In those goddamn
Songs
Or
Books
Or
Those bloody long moving pictures
Movies.
Oh no.
And yet,
We listen to them
And read them
And watch them.
Because
We need those colors.
Those specified
Labels.
Because everything is so
********
Gray.
I hate it
When
Writers
And directors
And singers
Screw with those ideas.
Screw with that black and white.
That one
Singular
Uncomplication
That I have.
You
Are my biggest complication
And my biggest
Uncomplication.
You
Are my black and white
And my shades of gray
And every other ******** color
In-between.
And dammit if you don’t know it.
You always know it.
Those
Eyes.
Those beautiful deadly
Uncomplicated
Complicated
Emerald
Pin
Sage
Chartreuse
Oh-so-achingly
Green
Eyes.
That
Skin.
That smooth silky
Complicated
Uncomplicated
Bronze
Chestnut
Ginger
Russet
Sepia
Skin.
And that damn hair.
That unruly
Lusciously thick
Charcoal
Inky
Sooty
Sable
Raven
Hair.
It’s funny somehow,
You’re so opposite from me
You are the visionary of black to my delusory white
Which is a contradiction
In itself
You the are the authentic white
And I am the undeniable black.
Or so they say.
But it’s more
Complicated then that.
Far more complicated.
The first time was a fluke
We were fighting
As always
And somehow
Some way
My lips brushed yours
And never
In all my life
Had I ever felt
Anything like that.
Like the calm before a storm
And the wildness during it
And the serenity afterwards.
An accident
---an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss; casualty; mishap.---
The second time
Was another fluke
Another accident
But it felt like before…
Like waiting for something wonderful
And then receiving it
And then basking in the outcome.
But
Still it was only
A mishap
---an unfortunate accident.---
The third time though
Everything blurred
And it was fast
But incredibly slow
Something that will always
Go on
But ended far to quickly.
You were so careful.
Like I would break.
A spark of lips
And a trace of skin
Clothes pulled off as if on fire
And then time slowed
And if the world were a “movie”
The camera angle would change
And it would circle around us
Taking in everything
That only makes sense when you experience it.
You pulled me to you
And we kissed.
---Oh god but how we kiss.
Like the world is ending.
Be it rough of soft
Biting of lush.
Always like the world
Will fall away.---
And then I was on my back,
Which is odd
For who I am.
But it felt right.
Right there.
You made me feel
Dominated
But not less.
Like your equal.
Somehow.
You’re so bloody
White that way.
And you moved down my body
And licked
And bit
Sucked and
Kissed.
My eyebrows
My eyelids
My cheeks
My chin
My neck
My chest
My stomach
My hips
My thighs
My knees
My calves
My ankles
---who knew that would be so sensual---
And even the arch of my foot.
Throw back my head and
Gasping
Didn’t seem to be enough
But that was all I could think to do.
The
Whole
Time.
And then you moved back up to
My finger-tips
And
My knuckles
---each one---
My palm
The back of my hand
Wrists
Forearm
Soft skin of my elbows
---turned out to be an stimulating spot for me---
My biceps
And my ears.
Merlin but my ears.
Were you to stay there long enough
I was certain I would have come
Right then and there.
Your hands gripped my shoulders
And hauled me up
---My back doing that
Lovely
Feminine
Arching move
You seem so very found of.---
My mouth sought yours,
And was found.
Movement.
A gentle caress
Of the most strong muscle in the human body.
You nibbled at my
---soft pink –your words not mine---
Lower lip
And sucked it into your mouth.
---To this day you still swear nothing tastes sweeter then I do---
And then,
---Even now I never really feel you there
Not as if your preparing me anyway.---
You were inside of me.
You
The very part of you that makes you
All man.
Was inside of me.
And nothing
---on my oath of whatever you can trust me as---
ever felt, feels, that good.
That wonderful.
That uncomplicated complication.
That primitive modern
Surreal realistic…
…
Feeling.
My legs on your shoulders,
You gripping my thighs
Kissing my calf now and again
Sometimes as if it were my mouth.
Crystal sweat rolling down your chest,
The fire glinting off of it
As if to reflect it as
The most precious of stones
Or liquid clear life.
Whimper
Moan
Breath hitching
Crying out
Groaning.
Useless words
For an act of
Pricelessness.
Golden skin,
Blazing eyes
And a smile
That I am certain had been hiding for years.
And it's returned
Gracing a face ---my face--- that was certain it would never grace.
Your throat arches,
That pretty smile
Changes
To an expression of almost lost bliss
Your eyes close
And
A word spills from your lips
One word
And it’s my name.
And then
An explosion
Shattering
Blasting into a million pieces
Knowing you’ll catch every piece
And put me back together.
But not in the order of who I was
Some one better.
Some one more.
No more pure.
But even then I knew
I was just more.
Everytime after that,
It was different.
More experince,
More knowledge
Just more.
Never enough.
And the more there is.
The more we know.
And the more I find
There is no
visionary of black
Or
delusory white
Nor is there
An authentic white
Or an
undeniable black.
No.
We are the very
Definition
---answer, characterization, clarification, explanation, individuation, interpretation, key, representation, solution, translation---
Of
Shades of Gray.
We are,
The
Shades of Gray.
AvengedHelloKitty0 Community Member 
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