|
|
|
stolen from Quizilla. These things make me laugh so hard. xD
Don’t say to a police officer
1 Gee officer, that's great. The last officer only gave me a warning, too.
2 aren't you the guy off the village people?
3 you aren't gonna check the trunk, are you?
4 police: do you know why I pulled you over?
you: you thought I had some donuts?
5 sorry, didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
6 hey, you must have driven 125 miles an hour to keep up. Good job
7 I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer
8 *pee in the officers boots* how high is the water level.
9 is it true people join the police because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
10 police: gee son, your eyes looked red, have you been drinking?
you: gee officer, your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?
not to do at a wedding
1.eat the cake before others
2.When they say their vows yell "Don't forget the other guy!"
3.When the bride walks down the aisle, put your foot out to trip her
4.When everyone is getting ready, put glue in their shoes
5.When she throws the flowers yell "it's a bomb, RUN!"
6. Don't kiss the groom/bride during the vows
7.Spit in the cake before anybody eats it and scream "Alleaoxgenfree, BUGS!!"
8.Shrink the dress
9.laugh when their kissing and say "what a lie!"
10.Yell "THE BOX, walls closing in, I can't breathe I can't breathe!!"
Don’t do at work
You shouldn't take your boss's lunch out of the fridge and replace it with slimfast.
You shouldn't try to play darts with pencils while in the lunchroom.
You shouldn't try to climb the elevator walls and scream "LOOK! I'm SPIDERMAN!"
You shouldn't tape a sign to your rival's parking space saying "This is a No Jackass Zone."
You shouldn't have office chair rugby tournaments.
During meetings you shouldn't belch loudly and point to the man/woman next to you, pass gas loudly and point to the man/woman next to you, or play paper football with the man/woman next to you.
You shouldn't come to work in ninjas clothes and karate chop anyone that looks at you.
random
1. In your local library get up, jump on one of the tables and start tap dancing and singing the peanut butter and jelly time song.
2. In the big fountain at the mall claim you are a ninja and can walk on water then jump in (you can't walk on it duh) and just start playing in it
3.Go to the mall fountain with sand be inventive
4. attempt to chop younger siblings (or bffs) head off with a toothbrush in the middle of the night make sure they notice and wake up.
4. Bring your homicidal imaginary friend to school (if you don't have one i'll lend ya mine) stab ppl in the back with plastic butter knives at lunch blame him
5. Bring rubber bands to class be inventive
6. Bring a HUGE slice of cheese everywhere you go for a week
7. Pretend to get shot and die every time someone says your name ( stay on the ground for at least 1 min)
8. Take your homicidal imaginary freind ( and lotsa butter knives) to a movie theater be inventive
9. In a movie theater when the popcorn thingy is off jump in
10. When you are eating in a fancy restaurant get up scream loudly run in a circle around 3 tables than sit down like nothing happened. Repeat every five min.
11. Sing the we are all gonna die theme song when ever going on an elevator it goes like this to the tune of london bridge: Oh we are all gonna die gonna die gonna die oh we are all gonna die die die die die
1. Ride a ferris wheel, with an Airsoft gun, shooting people with popcorn shrimp and noodles while wearing an old lady costume and wig.
2. Next time you go to someone's house, stand out front and say "Ding-dong" instead of ringing the bell.
3. Walk through your school hallways- or work hallways- singing "Rubber Ducky, You're the One!"
4. Ask the most serious person you know what their favorite color is and why.
5. Reply to everyone's "Hello!" with a cheerful "Aardvark!" Then, if they give you a good weird look, make a song out of it.
6. Go (mountain) bike riding with some friends, putting a funny annoying horn on your steering wheel. Use at any moderately reasonable time, or for any excuse.
7. Arrive to work/school late five days in a row, telling your teacher/principal/boss random things every time, like "hey, sorry, my rubber duck wanted to swim in the pond," or, "My whoopee cushion wanted a ride to his friend's house."
8. Stick a banana on the end of your nose, cucumber in your eyes (with holes to see) and tomatoes over your ears and spaghetti on your head. Now walk around the neighborhood, and maybe stores or town.
9. Dress in all black and sunglasses with a friend, singing the theme song from "The Men in Black," and pretending to shoot everyone who you think is an alien.
10. Jump into a tree, pretending to be King Kong.
11. Create an "Adopt an Aardvark" or "Sponsor a Capybara" program.
 LadyAlisyn · Fri Dec 11, 2009 @ 11:35pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
