There is a certain point in life where you just don't give a damn anymore. You think you don't when you are in high school but after you get out into the cold reality of a world THAT is when you just don't care. I could be outside naked and I wouldn't really care. I would be embarassed if a certain hot manager from the movie theater saw me but otherwise I would be fine. I am a loser and a leech on society which makes me feel like crap but I am working on that. I am becoming more feminine so I can feel good about myself and physically take care of myself. Other than that I am working two jobs, working on my moped, and trying to find a roommate or a room for rent. Either would be good.....ANYWAYS!!! Today I bought my first pack of cigs and a lighter. I have sunken to that low. Which is worse really: cutting myself or smoking? Both aren't good for you. Atleast smoking is the norm. If someone sees my scars they treat me like a psychopath. Atleast I am not a raging alcoholic who smokes and sleeps with every man she meets. Actually I haven't been on a date since Chris Mann. He bought me stuff and I tried to talk to him. He was really nice and was hot. He was just not Christian enough and was quite boring. He was irritatingly indecisive. He would talk about his last girlfriend and say how odd she was. I don't really need a date anyways. I am busy and over stressed as is. I just want someone to cuddle with and someone I can talk to. A shoulder to cry on atleast. Why? Well my one best bud has left me standing alone for the last time. I will not be second choice to some dumb broad who dresses like a skank and then tries to act like she knows everything. *bashes wall in with nearest lamp* I will not put up with this crap anymore! Either be my friend or leave me the hell alone.
I don't have time for halfhearted attempts of kindness. My coworkers invite me out 3/4 more often than my best friend. Now that is messed up. I am just so pissed off right now.....better eat my dark chocolate or listen to some good music. (since I am so damn fat I better listen to music) Well thanks for reading whoever you are. If you do read this know that I am truly grateful for your support.
 Zabethlyburn · Tue Oct 27, 2009 @ 06:15am · 1 Comments |
