|
|
|
I didn’t love him.
How could that matter now? How could anything matter? I had a front row view of the hurt. Toby was smiling, acting as if nothing had ever happened. He was acting as if I didn't even exist in his perfect world. His world hadn’t ended. Why had mine?
“Aren’t you going to kick his a**?” Keith’s voice brought me to reality. I stared blankly at him.
“Of course.” I huffed, already feeling sweat, pain, and tears.
I couldn’t defeat Toby. He was every girls dream, teen idol for a town with a minute and stereotypical suburban population. How badly I wanted to commit social suicide by ending his haughty charades! I ached to kill the golden boy, blond haired, blue eyed Achilles.
Damn him.
I cowered behind the corner, a foot away from the sweet release of revenge.
“Mai…”
“I can’t.” I blurted as I took one last look at his idiotic flock of friends. Suddenly tired, I leaned against the wall, covering my face in shame.
“Now you’re nervous?!” He asked incredulously. “I knew you would be!”
“I’m not!” I cried, then stopped as the bell rang. Students began heading for class. The crowd in the hallway began to thin.
Yet, Keith remained firmly placed, irritating, and patiently waiting for my tears.
I wouldn’t give him that much of me.
“Is he gone?” I asked instead. He raised an eyebrow, but obeyed regardless. I watched him peek around the corner to check and fumed quietly in my mind. Would it be years before I could forgive my embarrassing actions?
When he nodded, I instantly leapt from the wall and started for my own class, not bothering to explain.
Annoyingly, he was still there.
“I know you’re not going to cry Mai. I just want to know what the guy did.”
I paused, “You’re right. I’m not going to cry. Even though I hate him, I guess I have to let it go.” My voice caught on the last word and the tears almost exploded from me. No, I couldn't do it, not here.
“You don’t have to let it go Mai.”
“Why not?” I shot back.
He shrugged, “Why should you let it go? It’s obvious he isn’t the perfect prince everyone makes him out to be. Don’t let your revenge go to waste.”
“Do you know the power he holds? His fan club alone could lynch me at this moment. His sad past only makes him seem more attractive in their eyes. Any dirt I dished would be a lost cause. His grades make even me jealous. I can’t compete.” I reasoned. Somehow, the admittance added to my regret and depression. I sighed deeply from the pits of my lungs. “I have to get to class. If you want to depress me further, meet me after school. I’ll be the one with the dark grieving aura.”
"There is a positive side to this. At least, you're free of him." He shrugged his shoulders.
I chuckled sarcastically, "Positive? I've been hurting since the beginning of this relationship. Now that it's over, the pain doesn't cease. It just haunts me like a curse."
"A grim way of looking at things." Keith replied.
I didn't reply. Instead, I walked away from him, waving as I went. Keith couldn't possibly understand. He had never been in love before. The only type of relationship he tolerated was the "friends with benefits" sort. That's why I barely even considered him my friend. He couldn't understand this curse and the undeniable hate that had been placed upon me. According to him, revenge was something easy to obtain, a self satisfaction. For me, it was an absolute.
I couldn't have it any other way.
 Chahklat · Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 12:15pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
