ya know what,it's kinda funny.
chris was just over here,and as always i was pickin on him and ******** with him.he said that he dosn't even know why he keeps comin over when he knows i'm just gonna dog him out.
i like,never see him and he apperantly lost my number.i wouldn't give it to him again just to be a b***h,and it made me laugh,but now i kinda wish i would've.just a minuet ago i wanted to run around the corner after him before he got too far,just so i could give him my number again.
but this makes me think,whenever he's gone,i think i don't care.i think i'm just fine without him.but then when he's about to leave again,especially now,i don't want him to.i want him to stay.he even called me out on that today.because as much as i ******** with him,and pick on him and call him names and insult him through his problems,i really do care.i really do love him.i really hope he knows that even through all the childish tourture i put him through.i believe he knows he still loves me even through all of that.
it's times like these that i wish i was a little more of a nicer person,cuz then i wouldn't feel this way,and nither would he.
he's one of the last people in this world that i havn't come to hate for one reason or another.it's like a love/hate relationship.one minuet i'll be soooooo mad at him and just want him to leave,but when he gose to do that,i start crying and i want him to come back.it's kinda weird to me.i guess that's part of what having true friends is about though.being sour to them one minuet but knowing that deep down inside of you something knows you don't mean it and are dying for them to come back to you.
he once told me i was his best friend.i once told him the same.nither of us say it now.i still feel like going after him,but he's too far off now.i'd probablly get lost like always.but it's okay because i believe that somethings and some people are just meant to walk away.at least until next time if not forever.
ya know what i wish right now,and i wish this cuz i love him.i wish i'd never see him again.i wish that'd be the last time i ever talk to him or see him or even hear anything AT ALL about him.i'd normally never wish things like such cuz i'm one of those people that are cautious cuz i believe you get what you wish for,but this time it seems okay.it seems that everything would be brighter if we never met again.sometimes a lost friendship is better than one that's been dragged out too long.[especially like us.that's REALLY dragged out!]
but i guess just like i love the time we're together,i love the time we're apart to for many reasons,none of which i've figured out yet.
SO IF I NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN,GOODBYE FOREVER CHRISTOPHER B.I REALLY DO LOVE YA MAN heart
 XxImmortal_MachinexX · Sat Jul 04, 2009 @ 01:52am · 0 Comments |
