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I was in a colorless room, no shadows, but no light.
like floating through nothing...
I was holding something, clutching it like it was my own life.
But it was a child...
Ryder carl? the child who had just died in february? no, was it a former memory of Liam? when he was an infant? no,
Sweeter. Warm, sweet, innocent, looking back at me with adoring eyes.
MY brown eyes, so so so much sweeter, lighter, hints of emerald green in them.
My child, at last, I had a child... My innocent baby....
I was at last a mother...
Holding the most angelic of all children Ive evr seen.
So tiny. So beautiful. clutching my finger, a little milky white on the corners of her perfect mouth.
The beautiful light hair of an infant.
But i couldnt tell the color right. like it was changing evry second that flutterd by.
i never wanted to put my angel baby down.................
she'd stopped breathing....
The faint soft thuds of her heartbeat; "bump.. bumb...bump........."
they stopped...
The breathtaking brown and emerald green eyes....turned black...
I Tried and tried and tried... but she wouldnt wake up,
Her soft tender heart, wouldnt come back agian...
I cried and cried and cried and cried.
Shed literally turned to ashes in my hands...
Gone in a quick flash...
A tombstone appeared... on it the names of evryone i cared about...
"Sarah turrini, Robert Scott, Dan and Marie scott, Tony turrini, Vincent Turrini, Nancy turrini, Liam David Turrini, Josh, Alexander Vincent....."
It went on...
I.Was.Totally.Alone.
i saw the name of my baby.... "Here lies Ezabella Anne"
Ide never felt such a tweak of fear.
I was beyond scared.
I dont know what i was..
And i cried so hard, i thought Ide suffocate.
That wouldnt be so bad, if i could see them all agian... If I could hug and kiss them all, if i could hold my baby...
but it wouldnt end.... I wouldnt die...
Something didnt let me...
Just let me cry and cry and cry,
and wallow in insanity, agony, and fear.
It could have been seconds that passed, it felt like eterney...Everyone i loved and cared for..Gone...Dead...
leaving me in a torture for eternity...
(i woke screaming and crying.... my head in the pillow.... Luckily my mother didnt come in...Ive had this dream for about a week now.... evry time i wake up, im screaming and crying...)
 Toxic_Pinup_ · Mon May 11, 2009 @ 07:07pm · 0 Comments |
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