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Well we all know that Jenni moved last Friday, and it's been REALLY hard for me to adjust to it. My parents made it so I can only talk to her from 3:05 to 4:00 then after that I can talk to her from 8:00 to 9:00. It really sucks. I can only see her sometimes on Sundays or if she comes out here. My parents REFUSE to drive me out to see her. It's all really messed up. I miss her so much.
I feel....empty now because she's gone. My mom and dad said that it might be once a week that I see her, then once every OTHER week, then once a MONTH, then once a YEAR, then NEVER. They act like she's a drug and I'm addicted to her. Well......I wouldn't say the drug part is true, but the "addicted" could be changed to "in love". You see, I love her and nothing can change that.
If you've read the Twilight series you would probably know about imprintation. I feel that I have imprinted on Jenni and nothing can break that. I'm attached to her in some way. Like a puppet attached to strings. My parents are trying to cut the strings but they can't be cut, they'll never wear thinner, they won't erode away with time, they can't be broken down, they can't get longer, I won't let it happen. I love Jenni far too much to let her disappear from my world. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for Jenni. I would do anything she asks of me.
I can't stand being without her. You have no clue what I feel towards her. I feel happy and filled, when I'm with her, but now without her, I feel empty and cold. I need her right now. I need to be able to be with her, to be able to hold her against my chest, to feel her heart beat, to hear her breathing, to know that she's alright. I just can't stand not being able to be close to her.
Especially right now because there's something going on with me that is kinda important, but Jenni doesn't want to hear it, so I'll tell everyone else in another post, just don't read it Jenn, it'll be named "New Post, Don't Read Jenni". Alright?
-Sighs- This has really been a hard time for me. I haven't been very happy lately. I haven't been very "social". I've been very "iffy", meaning that the slightest annoying noise causes me to punch you in the face, or choke you, or slap you, etc. I have been having trouble breathing. My heart has been fluttering more than it used to. I haven't been able to get that great of sleep. I've been hearing Jenni talk to me while I'm asleep. I had a dream a couple days ago and in my dream I was holding Jenni, and it seemed so real that it seemed like I was really touching her. The problem was that because of it, it wasn't really a dream, it was more a nightmare for me, because I know that I won't be able to hold her like that much longer and it was mocking me. I just don't know what to do. This is going to sound weird but I think it might be true, Jenni and I haven't been getting much sleep and when we do, it isn't the greatest sleep. Now here's what I was thinking, maybe because we don't get to sleep is because we're so used to falling asleep on the couch together that it's caused us to NEED to sleep with the other person there. I know it sounds weird but I think it's true.
I don't know what to do. I love Jenni so much. I miss her so much. I've felt really stressed out lately. I need to calm down, but the only thing that helps me calm down is Jenni and I only see her once a week maybe right now. Who knows my parents have been so mean to me I don't anymore. Jenni if you're reading this please call me. I've been DYING (on the verge of being literal) to hear your voice. Well that's it for now.
I love you Jenni heart heart heart heart
Der Anfang eines Lebens ist Anfang des eine anderen Geschichte...
...und...
Das Ende von einem Leben ist das Ende einer anderen Geschichte...
"There are three settings; Hot, Hotter, and the Flames of Hell."
 Kansas_In_Blood · Sat Sep 06, 2008 @ 05:39pm · 0 Comments |
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