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@_@ I just scared myself half to death. I had turned the volume up on the computer so I could hear if anyone IMed me while I was downstairs and go reply so they wouldn't have to wait. I'd use an away message, but I've been known to forget to remove them ^^;;; Well, I pushed play on ITunes, and got a very loud blast of the opening theme to the first 20~ish episodes of Death Note @_@ You could probably hear it halfway to the interstate @_@ owwww....
I don't like waking up from dreams. I love the dreams themselves, except where their creation detracts from my creativiy elsewhere, but waking up is like falling asleep into my old nightmare, which I still have sometimes. Everyone who was there in my dream is gone upon waking. They're nowhere near. I want to cry sometimes, but I have to get up and get moving. I would rather not dream at all.
The other night, I had to put some mail out after dark, and I saw the moon outside, almost directly across from the front door. It was beautiful, so beautiful that it found its way into my dreams. "We" were walking across a field, the moon high above, and trees in the far distance, almost at the horizon. At first, I was aware of a warmth next to me and the rustling of footsteps through the grass that weren't my own, but I didn't know who was there (hence "we" rather than plain we). I was looking at the moon, then out at the trees ahead. It was very peaceful. "We" were just walking and walking. The trees never seemed to get closer. The moon didn't move. I didn't look at the other person. I knew I should know who it was, and looking would signal that I had forgotten. But I wanted to know so badly because I thought I knew, but I couldn't be sure. I didn't want to talk and disrupt the quiet peace, either. So, with neither voice nor appearance to identify my companion, I was stuck. All the while, "we" were walking on and on in the unchanging environment. Suddenly, an idea struck me. I couldn't see or hear my companion, but I could use the wonderful sense of touch to figure it out. I reached out and took the other person's hand. It was too small for a guy's hand, but other than that, it wasn't telling me much. "We" kept walking and walking, and I tried to figure it out. As time passed, I could elminate people by feel. I can't really be sure exactly how I was elminiating people just from holding the other person's hand, but I was. The landscape was becoming mindnumbing. Finally, I couldn't take anymore endless grass and moonlight and not knowing who I was with for sure. I pivoted to stand in her path, still holding the hand and taking the other as I could reach it. At last. We stood, just looking at each other for a while. I'm not sure how long. Time didn't seem to exist there. Why should it? But we couldn't just stand there forever. I realized that this was supposed to happen, that we knew the whole time, and that I already knew what I was going to do, and now was the time to do it...
And then I frickin' WOKE UP crying Didn't even get to know what was going to happen. And I haven't dreamt about it since. Heh. It's kind of a message from my subconscious. If I weren't so indecisive, I'd get to find out what would happen if something else were to occur. But I wasted so much time figuring out what to do, instead of just turning to face her that I didn't have enough time to see what would happen. Maybe we just kept walking. Maybe we finally got to leave the crazy, peaceful place. Maybe something else. But I don't know. It could be anything. and there's a great reason to dislike waking from dreams.
hehehe. Miley Cyrus. I couldn't believe they actually played "See You Again" at prom whee It's my favorite of her songs. Of course, I wasn't the only person there who knew all the lyrics twisted I downloaded the song back when I still had a carpool. Tal played it so much I already knew it by heart by then. But I really liked it. Just like the Aly and AJ song that the A twins liked. "Chemicals React". Too bad they didn't play that. It's great. Ooooooor...."Black Hole Sun"!!! whee Maybe not. It's not a positive song. But it's still awesome!!
whoops. I rambled again. But I was telling a story, so it's justified rambling 3nodding
~nepie
 nepie · Thu Jun 12, 2008 @ 12:22am · 0 Comments |
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