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Today is 01/17/07. I found something saved on my computer. Some of you might remember this. I finished it.
100 WASL Tips (to make it more enjoyable, not to help you pass)
By Mme Bella
(Warning: Teachers may be scarred for life.)
1. Don’t follow these tips/instructions if you would like to pass.
2. Suck your thumb.
3. Drop your pencil often.
4. The WASL booklets work nicely as paper towels.
5. When the teacher turns their back, make faces. Lots of faces.
6. If you’re under pressure from the silence, a loud arm-fart can always lighten the mood.
7. If you can chew gum (even if you can’t) blow large bubbles and let them pop all over your face. (Inspired by Wesley Coats)
8. Spill your water bottle’s content all over the floor (make it look like it was an “accident.”)
9. Pick the little nutty pieces out of your provided granola bar and flick them at the teacher’s desk or fellow students. If spotted, simply pretend that you were eating the granola bar.
10. Stack pretzels. (Inspired by Anthony Mazzoni)
11. Bring an insane amount of snacks. When “finished” with test, form them all into a strange structure (very tall.) Knock it over onto someone else’s desk.
12. Tap your fingers on your desk obnoxiously.
13. Keep restyling your hair.
14. Chew viciously on the pencils the teacher passes out.
15. Make sure there’s plenty of slobber when you give them back.
16. Try to throw all your snack garbage in the trash can from where you’re sitting.
17. Miss.
18. Keep getting up to drink out of the water fountain (despite the water bottle on your desk.)
19. Pretend to get the hiccups. Every five minutes.
20. Giggle like there’s some inappropriate content in the booklet. Loudly.
21. Burp.
22. Make the wrappers on your snacks crackle.
23. Chew with your mouth open.
24. Drink from your water bottle while reading a question. Spew water across the room as if surprised by content.
25. Snort. Often.
26. Leave your cell phone on, but in your backpack. Change the ring tone to the Barney song and schedule someone to call you. Watch classmates’ weirded out faces. Laugh.
27. Empty your entire water bottle over your head, and then blame it on the person sitting behind you.
28. Complain that you need to go to the bathroom. Every ten minutes.
29. Swat at imaginary flies.
30. Braid your entire head.
31. Snap pencil in half. When given another, do the same, etc.
32. Drool.
33. Continuously blow your nose. See how many you can do in a row.
34. Flick boogers at the whiteboard. They stand out.
35. When going to sharpen pencil, molest the fish.
36. Claim he/she/it likes it.
37. Stick tape on your face.
38. If tape is not available, try hole reinforcements.
39. Doodle on the pictures.
40. Constantly tap your pencil on your head.
41. Pick at scabs. Make them bleed.
42. Take a nap. And snore.
43. Break into song.
44. Glare at someone. Make them very nervous.
45. Act excited, and ask your teacher when Thomas Jefferson is coming.
46. Stab your booklet.
47. Shout prophecies.
48. Quote Harry Potter.
49. When asked what snack you want, answer “crème brulee, with sour cream on the side.”
50. Make up random similes that have no explanations, such as “Cheese is like a monkey because they both have five feet.”
51. Have your watch beep every two minutes.
52. Sneeze every time you come across the word “it” in your test booklet.
53. Try to communicate with people through interpretive dance, without leaving your seat.
54. Tap your fingers in Morse code.
55. Paint your nails.
56. Paint your face using nail polish.
57. Spill nail polish all over the booklet.
58. Write your answers in lip gloss (or blood, as suggested by MRS.CONOVER)
59. Mumble to yourself.
60. Draw on your desk.
61. Perform sign language.
62. Sing opera if else fails.
63. Crow like a rooster if someone in the room coughs.
64. Stare at the ceiling for a really long time. People will notice.
65. Scratch your nose every thirty seconds for about ten minutes.
66. Kick your feet into the desk in front of you.
67. Try to bounce your pencil off your desk.
68. Make a list of all the people in your class. Cross them off one by one while saying “die.”
69. Include your teacher.
70. Doodle in the space where you are supposed to show your work on the math WASL. Include monkeys, chipmunks, and your teacher hanging from a noose.
71. Stare at someone until they look at you. Then say “They’re copying my answers!”
72. Do the Hokey-Pokey in your seat without singing or humming the song.
73. Snort when you laugh.
74. Hum the Volga Boat Song.
75. Scream “THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!”
76. Loudly get up and swagger over to the tissue box, then back to your seat.
77. Eat the tissue.
78. Get up and put your hand over your heart. Face the flag and sing “Star-Spangled Banner.” They can’t stop you from showing patriotism.
79. Go through the entire booklet and underline every single word that starts with the letter “Q.”
80. Pretend to play the piano in the air.
81. One sure thing to cause a ruckus is to say quietly, “I think I wet myself.”
82. Keep itching yourself incessantly. People will start scratching themselves.
83. Make shadow puppets.
84. Even better, bring a sock puppet, have it rip up the WASL booklet, and then scold it for its evil deeds.
85. Take a spider out of your backpack, put it on your arm, say “Aaah spider,” and then while everyone’s looking eat it.
86. Count to 100 very, very quietly.
87. Rock back and forth in your seat. For half an hour.
88. Use a squeaky eraser.
89. Lick chalk, and then place the wet chalk on your neighbor’s desk.
90. Say, “You got mail.”
91. Answer all long answer questions with “Why do you care?”
92. Fill in the short answer bubbles incorrectly, with checks or x’s.
93. Read your book upside down.
94. Break-dance.
95. Lip-synch silently without music.
96. Try to look at your forehead.
97. Clap for yourself when you finish.
98. Say, “Woops,” for no reason in particular.
99. Put water on your hands and flick it at the people around you.
100. Show these tips to your teacher.
The joys of sixth grade boredom.
Love love love, Mme Bella
 Mme Bella · Fri Jan 18, 2008 @ 05:08am · 1 Comments |
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