crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying
Nooo, evil homework. It's creeped up on me again. It's on my mind ALL the time, and I mean it. It's on my mind right now. It's horrible, I can't enjoy myself at all because I'm thinking about my homework that I haven't done. My chest feels all tight with worry. I feel guilty about every second I'm spending not doing homework, which is all the time because I haven't started yet. And why haven't I started yet? I keep on making plans to try and start. Some plans are for a few weeks, others for the up-coming week. I make a plan for the day. When I'm really stressed and upset, I just plan for the next 5 minutes and it usually works. None of my plans have been put into action, not even the 5 minute ones. Each day drags on really slowly and then suddenly it's slipped away. The days just fly by and now the homework deadline is in easy sight.
I don't feel like I can do it. It's only an art project, but it seems so big when I think about it. Drawing takes sooo long and I can't even think of what to do. I know that once I start, I won't be able to stop but I can't start.
And I feel so stressed in this house, with all the shouting and screaming and crying. Sometimes I just leave and go for a walk or sit in a tree for a while but I get so cold, and my support at home is needed. I look after my sisters and we're always doing nice stuff for them, but never for me. I feel unappreciated. I haven't done anything nice with my mum all throughout the holidays. She took me to the orthadontist the other day. It's been the only occasion that it's been just me and her and I loved it. How sad is that? And I've only seen my friends three times because I'm so embarrased to contact them.
I don't feel that anyone can help me. I've tried not to get too sad, and and have made the most of all situations so no one at home is noticing much how I really feel. I've hade a few outbursts, but I don't get much attention and comfort. The attention soon comes back to my sisters or my dad. AND my mum is in a bit of a bad way at the moment too so she isn't very supportive.
Hmmph. I've fininshed my rant now.
 Lady-Shiro · Wed Aug 15, 2007 @ 04:39pm · 0 Comments |
