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Hostile takeovers can be a b***h. |
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I'll post later. I'm too busy enjoying my new position as Captain of Dirty Work Inc. Assassin's Guild.
*Returns a few hours later.*
As I said before... hostile takeovers can be a b***h. I'll admit, I never even would have thought of taking over until the seeds of mutiny were planted in my head by a certain someone, whose name I will not disclose. And I'll also admit I really did like Jonny as a leader and a friend. But I'll tell the truth there and say that he did not make a good boss for an assasination guild. It's just not in his nature to be cold-blooded and murderous, short-tempered and evil. It just isn't him at all. And so, I had to do it. I had to put the gun to his head and demand he hand Dirty Work over to me. And, being the smart man that he is, that's just what he did. To those who got banned from Dirty Work: tough s**t. You should have showed your face more, proved your worth... or just plain stood on my good side. (Yeah, I'm talking to you, Ric/Tionna. You're not fooling anyone. I know you're the same person.) In any case...
I've already given them all the speech. But just in case you missed it, here's how it went:
"First and foremost, this is NOT a Democracy! This is a THEocracy! I am not your Boss, I am your ******** GOD. Nothing gets cleared without my knowledge or say-so! If you want something introduced to the Guild, you ask ME first and, although I value your opinions, I will be making the final decisions!"
"Second of all, there will be NO MORE of this inviting people behind the Boss' back! Anyone seeking to bring in a new member must first get clearance with me. This does NOT mean inviting them to the Guild, getting them accepted, and then conducting and interview at my office. NO ONE but members get in here. This is sacred ground. This guild is your temple. And you will treat it as such."
"Third of all, we are a family. You may not like your family, but you WILL respect them. Disagreements, arguments and fights may happen, but all families have their little spats. But in the end, we will always stand up for each other. Just make sure you make up by the end of the day or there will be serious consequences."
"And lastly, I will not tolerate slackers. You were invited here because you are KILLERS. And that's exactly what I expect from all of you. Members MUST show their faces here at least once a week. Is that too much to ask!? Once a bloody week!? And I expect you to have at least one kill every two months. I understand this is hard to come by, but, Goddamnit, you will do your work! Is this perfectly clear to everyone!?"
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*Reads his own speech again.*
Man, that was beautiful. Apologies to those who couldn't make it, congratulations to those who did. I appreciate your dedication. As for now, I shall go visit the grave of my little boy, Patriot Adonnis. Patriot, we hardly knew ye.
 Bleeding Apocalypse · Mon Apr 18, 2005 @ 09:25pm · 2 Comments |
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