• He was never mine to begin with.
    But just for tonight, I’ll be sad to see him go.
    Just for tonight I’ll beat myself up, and I’ll let myself be heartbroken.
    Just for tonight I’ll think of all the what if’s and all the what could have beens.
    I’ll think about all the chances I had, but I was too scared to say something.
    I’ll tempt myself with the possibility that we’ll find each other later in life - ready for a real chance.
    I’ll think about the fact that after such a wonderful morning together, I’ll never see or hear from him again.
    I’ll think about the hug or kiss I never got, but so desperately wanted.
    One that would have made things so complete, but the second he let go, I would have shattered because it would have meant goodbye.
    He says he wants to be friends, but friends don’t just leave like that right?
    But that’s all we were to begin with.
    We were just friends who could hold each other tightly under the covers.
    We could kiss and pull each other closer, but only when we were tangled in the sheets.
    We were never meant to be more.
    We were never meant to last longer than a couple of months.
    We were always on a time limit.
    Because no matter what, life would catch up to us.
    We both had other priorities, and I guess you found a new one.
    But if you had asked.
    If you had asked me a month ago, I would have told you how much I liked you.
    I would have told you how much I loved your eyes, and your laugh.
    I would have told you how kind, and funny I thought you were.
    I would have told you how confused I was because I wasn’t sure how you felt about me.
    After tonight I’ll let you go.
    I’ll let go of every daydream and every wish that we could have been more.
    I’ll let go of every little fantasy, and I’ll move on into reality.
    My feelings for you may not disappear all at once because they didn’t start all at once.
    They will slowly fade just as they once grew.
    Tonight I’ll dream one last time.
    Tonight I’ll remember every beautiful moment.
    I’ll cry. I’ll let myself feel like s**t.
    I’ll tell myself over and over that I lost my chance with such a great guy.
    But when the sun rises tomorrow, so will I.
    I won’t wallow anymore.
    I won’t s**t on myself for not taking a chance because now I know it’s worth the risk.
    I will look ahead, and be grateful for having met you.
    Grateful I had the chance to share so many incredibly simple moments with you.
    I will wish you nothing but the best.
    I will wish you nothing but happiness for you and yours.
    I’m sorry our timing was just a little off.
    I’m sorry I wasn’t ready in the beginning for something more.
    I’m sorry we couldn’t have been.
    Just know, you were never a waste of time.
    You were never just someone I had sex with.
    You were special, and if I could have shared that part of myself with anyone, I’m glad it was you.
    As the clock turns past midnight into tomorrow, I will do all of these things.
    I hope you won’t look back either.
    I hope you’ll dive into this new part of your life without a second thought.
    Whoever you are with deserves all of you.
    Because if it were me,
    I would have wanted every part of you.
    I would have wanted you to grab my hand just because you felt like it.
    I would have wanted you to move my hair out of my face and kiss my forehead.
    I would have wanted you to text me good morning and good night everyday.
    So give that to her.
    Give her all of that and more.

    It’s past midnight now, and all I have left to say is simple.

    Goodbye