Artist

• Artist: Rikuluver18
• Description: Hm, just something I wrote to express how I see things I guess :T
• Date: 01/17/2011
• Tags: artist

"With our broken brushes, the torn canvas, we try to paint, a broken place, for which we hope
can one day heal all the rips and tears, So we paint a world, we paint the land, we paint the
people, we paint the seas, we paint all we can, but in the end, we put the brushes down, knowing
that we just cant make that final piece, with all our brushes, with all the paint, with that canvas,
we can not paint, the missing hearts, in all that land, just like us, the paints dead, without that
heart."

Comments

[Slinkenhofer]

This looks like prose with an excessive use of commas. Poetry may not have set guidelines, but it's understood that it has a structure different than other types of writing. Your poem is pretty indistinguishable from a short prose piece or a diary entry. And as such, I find much of your piece redundant. 1/5

[Rikuluver18]

Why thank ya Vardofive, at least someone can appreciate fine work. ^ ^

[vardofive]

i love the imagery. i also disagree with SmileUponMyStar. i feel that the "format" is great, not all poems need to "look" like poems or rhyme or anything like that. Great work.

[EarlsGarden]

next time try to format it better so it looks more...appealin? i didn't feel like readin it at first because it was all jumbled up.

i like it ok but i think it needs some work to do. can't say wat though LOL srry!

[Rikuluver18]

comment my work ;D