• please god, dont let me lose my best friend
    my heart is already broken badly enuf
    please tell me this isnt thee end

    theres just no telling how broken Id be
    how one mistake can rip my life apart
    all becuz of a broken heart

    please god, my heart has been broken
    true luve I have lost
    and the cost of one horrible mistake
    might it break my heart for good
    if I lost my greatest treasure

    all for the sake of unwanted pleasure
    an escape from this heart break
    I had to get away, and I lost myself in the pain
    how it suddenly hit me like a heartbreak train

    trying to throw it off the tracks
    trying to avoid the impact

    I put up the walls, now surrounding my heart
    hanging from a string, what a strange lil thing
    unprotected and unaware
    its about to take a hit it just cant bear

    please god please, I know Ive done wrong
    I hurt my best friend and its bearing on my soul

    please dont let this happen agen
    Ive lost too many best friends already
    but shes more than just a best friend to me

    she may feel now as if she doesnt know who I am
    but she knows me, down to my soul, deep in my heart
    there has been a tragedy
    in the story of this heart

    a tragedy wich has led to an out of character reaction
    a reaction wich has led to an unlikely & shocking action
    an action wich has caused chaos in the hearts of 2 best friends

    I dont give excuses and I cant say Im sorry
    my heart was broken & I wanted to fix it
    but I didnt know how and I didnt know who
    I didnt know where to turn or what to do



    I tried to make it better, I thought I found a way
    but I only made things worse
    now theres nothing I can say
    to make you see Im still the same person
    I just lost my way when I lost my luve

    someone I was so madly & so deeply in luve with
    she was intoxicating, alluring and irresistible
    she was cute and crazy and sexy and sweet
    she was everything I thought I wud ever need

    and more. much more than I cud ask for
    from anyone who cud ever love me
    and I thought it impossible to ever lose tht love
    though it happened slowly

    as she grew to love him, and less to love me
    as soon as she said those fated words
    it all hit me like a lightspeed train
    traveling down the heartbreak hill

    as I stumble and trip and try to stop
    I try to hold on, to make it back to the top
    but shes all I can think about, so what can I do

    I think about others who care for me too
    I think, just maybe, someone else out there loves me
    can love me like this, can give me a taste, of a heartpounding kiss

    but it wasnt the same, so I cried, but my tears didnt show
    for the rain washed away what tears fell tht day

    she wanted him to be me when she met him
    when she kissed him, when she held him
    and I... I wanted her to be
    but hes not me, and shes not... her

    she wasnt her, but I still wanted her to be
    I shud have stopped trying to pretend
    but I tried to push love
    I didnt want it to end

    I didnt wana believe Id never know her love agen
    if her touch wud be the same
    if her lips I cud ever kiss once more
    if her hands might I ever hold...

    disappointed after what Id been told
    I fell out of love and it broke my heart
    than tht part of our bond was pulled apart


    and it became fragile, like glass in a greenhouse
    its not bulletproof, and Im not superman
    but like him, I can take a hit...
    but my heart cudnt take it

    and its like I was affected by red kryptonite
    I wasnt myself, it just wasnt me
    I thought I was strong, but now cant you see
    even superman needs to be saved sometimes

    whose here to save me now
    wheres my best friend who tells me its ok
    who protects me from myself
    when Im my own worse enemy

    I need my best friend, just like superman does
    Im no hero, but some ppl think of me tht way
    I saved her once when her heart was broken

    becuz thts what I do
    thts the hero in me
    if ever there was a hero in me
    if ever so helpful as I cud be

    but now I need someone to save me
    to tell me its not the end of the world
    tht I havent failed, tht I still have a chance

    Im not superman, Im only human
    but superman was created by one of us
    with such complex affects such as red kryptonite has

    but not in the form of red kryptonite if you might think
    maybe in the form of heartbreak
    but the heartbreaker and the best friend...
    they arent the same person

    its much different in my mind
    like in my heart, but my heart cudnt find
    an escape from this pain I feel inside
    and now its much worse
    cuz I hurt my best friend

    and Id go to no end to show her
    Im not a bad person
    Im not a bad friend
    I just made a bad choice

    I was in a bad place
    and I didnt wana face the pain
    and I dont wana face this world without her

    yes, what I did was wrong, but so many ppl struggle to do the right things these days. so Ive done something wrong, something horribly wrong. you dont have to look up to me or try to be like me.

    but please, if you do look up to me... dont look at my mistakes, dont look at my bad choices, becuz I dont look at yours. please, just look at the good in me, becuz thts most of who I am, and most of who Ill always be.

    find inspiration in the good, and find compassion from the bad, becuz thts what I need. I need your friendship, your compassion, your understanding. tht Im human, even as great as you may think I am, Im able to make mistakes, I can only hope... tht your able to forgive.

    tht you able to look past my mistakes, and know tht my mistakes dont make me who I am, so accept me as I am. not judging by my mistakes, but by what truly makes me who I am.

    my kindness, my loving nature, and my beliefs... even if those beliefs have been tainted by my broken heart, havent we all been tainted from time to time. and there are 2 things I regret in my life...

    hurting the first greatest best friend Ive ever had and losing her, unsure if tht friendship might ever be rekindled. and hurting her, my current and closest and greatest best friend, and person... hoping not to lose her, hoping I wont have to regret it anymore than I already do.

    hoping she will read this and see, and understand. I still believe our bond can make it through anything, and I can understand why she feels the way she does but if she can understand forgiveness, and what it means to relly forgive someone...

    than maybe, just maybe... she will understand me a lil more, maybe even understand god a lil more, and maybe finally understand...

    how much I relly do love her, how much I love having her as my best friend, as my angel and... as a lil sister. if a sister can forgive her brother, such is family. if an angel can forgive her guardian, such is the spirit of love. if a best friend can forgive her best friend, such is the love of true friendship.

    if a broken heart can learn to forgive... such is the soul. and wich ever path we may choose, may we choose it together. for no mistakes you make will ever make me turn away.

    Ill always believe in you, Ill always believe in who you are, even if you get lost sometimes... if you lose your way, Ill always help you find your way back, becuz i know your not a bad person.

    sometimes life just sends you in the wrong direction, but I promised... I will always stand by your side, becuz I love you. such, is life.

    and if you can find meaning in these words, if you can see the effort of all the tears, if you can see the magic of what hope I still feel… such is the heart, telling you to hold on.

    wich is exactly what my hearts trying to do…