This Past Year

• Artist: Madd Fail
• Description: Something very deep, I think very little people can't even begin to feel the pain woven within these words. I try asking for help. It never comes. I have ideas of how to leave. Many of them include death, others include running away. I am running out of options.
• Date: 06/04/2009
• Tags: want runaway

I want to runaway
I need to leave this place.
Since I've been here
I've attempted suicide
and thought of it often

I try asking for help
but help never comes
I'm always left there waiting
waiting for someone to save me
I am tired of saving myself

I look back to last year
and I realize; I have fallen so far
yet have made myself so much stronger
Able to handle more pain
than any mind should have to

Everytime I reach for the razor
Everytime I reach for the pills
Everytime I fill the tub with water
Everytime I wrap my hands around my neck
Everytime I fail

Eight months I've been like this
Everyday I push through
Too often if you ask me
I am making myself stronger
I'm tired of strengthening myself

My latest idea; Running away
I constantly have hopes for this
that this plan will accually work,
yet I often enough I am reminded of how it may not
filling my heart with hopelessness

I'd like to enjoy my childhood
Not have it be filled with
Going back and forth
Riding an emotional roller coaster
Faking a smile everyday

How is this fair?
Out of all the people in the world
I got stuck with a mother who thinks she has to win
A father who I can't recall any great memories
A brother who misinterpurtes everything I say

Out of all the places in the world
I got trapped in a place with no oppertunity
Seeing people day to day
who don't really give a damn about me
People caught up in their own little worlds

There is so much I want to do
So much I want to live for
So many things that can put a smile on my face
Yet there is so much pain
so much not worth the pain it causes

Running away is my last option
My last option where I still live
I can handle myself
But I can barely you
because you can't begin to handle me

Comments

[iwillbeatharvestmoon64]

ive fell and made myself stronger too ive wanted to comit suiside too i know its hard but we cant give in i really like this pooem i can relate to it so much its very deep and has a nice flow 5/5

[MJgwarrocker66]

i fell too. and yes ive made myself stronger. i would always picture being in a faroff place somewhere i could live. youre not alone.

[Madd Fail]

Comments or suggestions would be loved <33