Tally Marks The Ending

• Artist: Jarmis
• Description: This is a little piece I wrote about my mom one night. I was a little upset (like it doesn't show), and I listen to screamo music (Blessthefall, Underoath), so I tried to write a song that would fit in with that style, and could have breakdowns thrown in there and stuff.
  
  It's my very first song I ever wrote, so any feedback would instantly make you my friend.
  Unless it's bad feedback, then... aw, who am I kidding? I'll still be your pal. :D
• Date: 04/12/2009
• Tags: tally marks ending pain regret

Tally Marks The Ending

You thought you were stabbing your way forward
But you were really just stabbing me
You thought you were stabbing your way forward
As I screamed, bleeding
Let me be!

You didn't want a forgotten son
But now it looks like you've gotten one

I couldn't be what you want me to be
Cause you wanted someone who's not me

Check all your boxes and tally your points
But what's the point?
What's the point?

When your records and numbers are burning down
You'll look for me and realize
All you needed was in my eyes
But I won't be around

So kiss me goodbye
With a tear in your eye
And blow the kiss
Blow it like you blew your chance at this

Comments

[Atheshya]

That's kinda rhythmic when reading aloud.

[Xx_DR3AMI3_B0IxX]

lol i think its good smile but i also agree with raven_venge whenever i write things like that i feel like a tard lol so i just dont show anyone but that sucks about how you feel that way

[Baby Treasure]

I like it and don't thing there is anything wrong with it. I wouldn't change it a bit. Your good no doubt about it. The sad part is it is so true.

[Wunsapon]

Ya know, I love screamo music but it really is difficult to write. I always feel like such a pansy when I write my sappy little songs... =(
But this, this is very good, and I feel inspired by it. Thank you for this lovely peace of literature. -curtsies and giggles-