• And now here I stand,
    cold and beaten
    my body tattered and destroyed
    from the constant exertion
    I forced upon myself.
    My spirit remained broken,
    fragile
    and on the road
    of collapsing.
    I tried
    taking another step,
    but my body couldn’t
    withstand the pain
    that had been retained
    in my body
    for so many years.
    I fell,
    and with that,
    my will to live
    to find a purpose in my life
    to grasp onto a new hope,
    it all disappeared…

    My body
    laid on the ground,
    any sign of life
    already walking.
    My body
    felt so cold
    so numbing…
    My eyes
    remained open
    as such cold tears
    escaped from me,
    chilling my eyes
    to have such an icy stare,
    devoid of any warmth…
    I felt so worthless
    so shameful
    so…
    undeserving
    of any pity and consolation…
    My body couldn’t…
    no
    had no reason
    to stand back up
    to take a new step further…
    And I stay still,
    my body
    my spirit
    my heart drained
    of everything they had,
    their limits far surpassed.
    Everything ached
    in disappointment,
    numbing my senses…
    And there I lay,
    blinded
    numbed
    and empty…

    I couldn’t
    tell any sense of time…
    It seemed
    like it never ended,
    and I knew
    that I had returned
    to the hell
    that I had escaped
    all those years ago…
    I couldn’t feel anything
    that I was so alone in this world.
    I wanted
    to tell myself
    that I’ll feel warm again,
    but…
    harsh reality overwhelmed
    my desires
    my hopes,
    and I was thrown
    even further
    into my hell…

    Further and further I went,
    falling backwards
    against my will,
    and nothing but darkness
    grabbed my sight.
    Everything
    I had left
    began to drift away
    into the endless void
    I fell through.
    My memories
    my emotions…
    everything that
    had any connection to you…
    gone…
    And when everything left me,
    I fell
    onto the ground,
    Feeling nothing
    but the emptiness inside of me
    Seeing nothing
    but my cold, blinding tears
    Thinking of nothing except
    “I miss you already…”

    But…
    something came over me,
    a wave
    full of gentleness and warmth
    washed over my numb body
    my cold body
    my iced eyes,
    and I felt so much at peace…
    I could feel
    the climactic clash between
    the ever-loving warmth
    and the icy, eternal darkness,
    the struggle
    causing doubts of hope and trust
    in those who desire
    to give it.

    I wasn’t sure
    what to do.
    So many thoughts and choices
    confused my body;
    it was so hard
    to find the absolute truth
    within the chaotic storm.
    I reached
    for the new hope
    I desired to hold onto,
    but I continually felt nothing
    but empty space.
    My tears
    strained my yes,
    but I shrugged them aside
    as I desperately chased
    after that warm, bright new hope.

    Such intense coldness and gales
    struggled to retain me
    inside that ball
    of darkness and solitude,
    filled
    with doubts and regrets,
    that I once
    resided in.
    That hope
    I caught sight of
    gave me the desire
    to chase after it.
    I ran,
    past my regrets
    past my mistakes
    my doubts and my sorrows…
    And with each unsatisfied tear
    that I left go
    behind me,
    I felt
    all the weight
    that numbed my shoulders
    begin to disappear,
    unburden me.
    I ran
    so much faster than before,
    and I ran and I ran…
    until I began
    to realize that,
    without noticing it,
    I had ran
    into an empty field, basked with a warm light
    that repelled any darkness.
    And at long last,
    I was finally able to fall
    into a strong source of warmth…

    The arms
    that held me
    lifted me up,
    showing me someone
    who sat on a boulder,
    staring up at the cloudless sky.
    His collective state
    seemed to show experience
    as he turned his attention to me,
    his eyes so calm,
    and yet it held wisdom
    from so much pain and solitude.
    We stared at each other
    with no concern
    of the flow of time,
    my body and eyes revealing
    everything to that man.
    He sat there
    and looked back up,
    thinking,
    before telling me
    to come,
    his calm aura
    seemingly inviting.
    I walked over
    to him,
    not faltering even one bit.
    He shot a glance
    at the sky
    while I stepped closer,
    and he looked back at me
    when I stood in front of him.
    His eyes finally closed
    and a smile…
    a smile appeared
    on his face,
    and that’s all I saw
    before his body disappeared…

    But…
    with his disappearance,
    I could see
    what he wanted out of me.
    I…
    knew what I had to do.
    With the knowledge
    of his past
    of his pain
    of his wisdom…
    I took his spot
    on the rock,
    my heart
    my soul
    and my body
    at ease at last,
    and I began
    to watch the sky,
    watch for the clouds to come,
    and I started to wait
    for the next person
    who happens to stumble
    upon this land,
    wait to pass down
    this newly founded wisdom,
    and wait to save another life…