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You crushed my heart
And shattered my soul.
I was hoping
You would be different
But you weren't.
What did you think of my performance?
You didn't really think I was ok with the breakup,
Did you?
But I still care for you
So I spared your feelings,
So you don't have to go through
The hurt and the pain.
I pretended,
So you would feel alright
Even though,
You crushed my heart
And shattered my soul.
Why do humans have hearts
If they break so easily?
If they are so fragile
How do we survive in this harsh world?
A Blizzard of sadness
A schorcher of happyness
An abyss of anger
None of these could strain my heart.
My heart can contain all of them
And I grow stronger.
No, none of them could hurt me
But you could.
You could say four little words
And my heart could explode.
It could break
Or shatter
Or crumble
Or you could take it.
You had it.
And you broke it
Shattered it
Crumbled it
And gave it back to me.
Wrapped in sadness,
Larger than the abyss
Hotter than the scorcher
Colder than the blizzard.
Is my heart unwanted?
No.
Just discarded.
You used it as much as you could
Then threw it out when you finished.
I don't even have any happy memories to look back upon.
You wrecked my heart.
This wound
Will hurt as it heals
If it ever does.
Why do humans have hearts
If you break them so easily?
I used to think you cared
When you always asked about me.
I used to think you liked me
For who I am.
But did you?
Did you really?
I liked you
For your kindness and humor
But what happend to that?
Was it all a show?
Leading me on to belive
That you actually cared?
I suppose it was.
When you left,
You left nothing
But a broken heart
And a broken bond.
You know we can't be real friends agian.
You were only saying that
So Mara wouldn't hurt you.
You didn't give a reason for your leaving.
You were cheating, wern't you?
I can remember
From 3rd grade
Me and you playing in the soccerfeild.
Chasing each other
And hanging on the soccer goals.
Are those the only happy memories I have of you?
What happend to that friendship?
Then in 6th grade.
Chatting while on the computers
Didn't you get my secret codes?
Hot and cold?
Sweet and sour?
I was trying to tell you!
I've been madly in love with you since we met!
Then you said yes.
Why?
Now I reflect
On my first relationship.
Is it better to love one who doesn't love you?
Or to love one who crushes your heart.
But I used to think you cared.
I did.
Didn't you?
When I read your words
My heart stopped.
My summer love was over,
And I had plans.
A movie?
A concert?
Just a day together?
I would have offered those
If you hadn't broke it off.
Summers almost over.
My ideal summer
Has been a crap load.
The worst by far.
And you?
The sprig of happyness?
You were just there to distract me.
I wish I could say I'm over you.
But I'm not.
My heart is still
In pain
Trust you to be faithful to me.
Cheater.
You can't cheat the game of Love.
And trust?
Thats just bull.
Just when I was getting to be me
Out of my depression circle
You had been helping me.
I liked you
Now you leave me
Halfway out of my shell
So much for my happy streak.
But seriously,
I'm sore.
Sore from your false words
Sore from your false caring
Sore from your false lies
Sore from your false emotions.
Do you even have any?
Or are you a robot, controlled by your friends?
Or by the world?
Do you even have a soul?
If you did,
You would know
How much you hurt me
And you would know
That I was only pretending
To be fine with it.
You know how I seemed happy?
Or at least not hysterical?
I didn't want to hurt you!
I don't want to hurt you!
I love you dammit!
Can't you see that?
I cried no tears.
I would have
If it weren't for the fact
I'm a stony person agian.
I've only cried two times
In my life.
I didn't cry when I broke my ankle
Because I knew
There would be more important things to cry about.
Me not crying
Is proving
You wern't worth it?
Is that what I mean?
I don't know.
I love you still.
That is all I know.
When I read your words
My heart stopped
And now it is afraid to love agian.
Yesterday I was passionate
About you
But now?
I'm in regret
What did I do?
You had been wonderful one day
And evil the next.
Why do you tease me!
You made me feel
Appreciated
But was I really?
I thought we were a good match.
I thought you cared!
I trusted you!
Am I angry?
No, I don't think so.
Sad?
I suppose.
No! I know what
This is!
I'm feeling betrayed!
Yes! Thats it!
I was hoping this
Would have a happy ending.
Like a date?
Well, not anymore.
I don't feel the same way
About anyone!
I guess this is love.
It took great effort to commit to you
I felt ready to be a girlfriend.
But I guess I wasn't a good one.
Or did you get tired of me?
Or was I just a show?
To tell everyone
Even when you weren't serious?
No.
I think you might have actually liked me once.
You seemed happy to see me.
Why are you so different online!
You don't act like you do in real life!
Were you cheating on me?
I need the truth.
Out of all the lies
You might have told me.
Out of all the lies you didn't tell me.
Please.
Tell me the truth.
I'm prepared for the worse.
Yesterday I was passionate about you
But were you ever passionate about me?
I don't know what to say anymore.
After it happend
I died.
I may seem dramatic
And I probably am
But whats wrong
With a little
Exageration?
You left me
And I was unprepared.
I've never felt hurt like this before
I feel unloved,
Despite my friends comforting words.
I feel cold
What should I do
When I see you agian?
Do we talk?
Are we really friends?
Or do we ignore each other.
Are we scared to talk?
Or do we not want to stop.
I really miss you
Because I still love
Even though my heart is shattered
Even though it is lifeless
Even though it hurts
I prevail
Because I still care for you
You infuriate me
You tell me
LIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you really get
3 more girlfriends
After you killed me?
I don't know what to say anymore
Because you have silenced me.
- by FormerlyKitaTataki |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 11/28/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: I am crushed
- Artist: FormerlyKitaTataki
- Description: Emoooooo! This is from when my first BF broke up with me. Jeez, I was pretty worked up. o_0
- Date: 11/28/2008
- Tags: crushed
- Report Post
Comments (6 Comments)
- darkness_shall_reign - 04/19/2009
- wow this is really long im proud that i finished it tho!! but its pretty good
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- Edgeworthless - 12/14/2008
- this is great,but i cant believe i read the whole thing
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- FormerlyKitaTataki - 11/30/2008
- Yeah, I will shorten it, cuz it was actually 7 poems i wrote, but I smushed 'em all together for this.
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- Fajiki - 11/29/2008
- really good, but yeah try to shorten it cause most people would look at it and go "PFT, too long for me!!!" and leave, and also might want to go through and find the spelling errors like "agian" should be again and there is a happend should have happened and just minor errors like that, but still 5/5 biggrin
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- musicbyme - 11/29/2008
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wow i cant believe i finish it in 5 min despite how long i saw it at 1st i thought it'll take a week lol.good but next time try to make it shorter because i know that when people see how long it is they wont read it. a 4 4 me
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- Hunter of Legend - 11/28/2008
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OH MY GOSH THAT IS LONG!
My advice to you... edit. Really. I am too shocked by the length to even finish the poem.
On that note, I do hope things have worked out for you for the better! - Report As Spam