To Murder A Rose

• Artist: -Tainted Mail-
• Description: This one was pretty interesting to write. I was going for a darker poem, but I think I failed at making it any darker than my other poems. -_- (I need to work on that...) Anyways, it's about a serial killer.
• Date: 11/12/2008
• Tags: murder rose

Her lovely laugh
Like wonderful bells
Her beautiful smile
Casting its spell
One look from her
I faltered and fell
Her terrible beauty
I'm going to hell

These terrible thoughts
That enter my head
I must be a monster
Something to dread
She is the needle
I am the thread
But before long
The needle is dead

I await the moment
When the sun leaves the sky
Looking down at her
She is wondering why
I look away
So I don't see her cry
Here comes the time
The rose withers and dies

The deed has been done
Her last gulp of air
Once beautiful eyes
Now emptily stare
What have I done?
It's too much to bare!
Can never go back
I'm filled with despair

My wonderful rose
Who captured my heart
You had so much beauty
But you weren't very smart
Couldn't you see
That I was playing a part?
You fell in love with a killer
I'm just a poisonous dart

Comments

[Dragons_rule_the_sky]

it did have wonderful flow to it, like music. it was very good.

[tksunshine93]

Ooooooo.....
I like it
Very nice flow, lovely but dark play on words...
All in all good

[Damion Nash]

The subject matter has that dark feel. I like how you've taken this serial killer speaker and fleshed that character out so much. It's a little creepy but strong. It might seem darker if you didn't keep with the consistent end-rhyme or if you mixed up the line lengths.