A Mutual Comparison

• Artist: Lord Elric of Melnibone
• Description: cut-up, broken sonnet
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags: shallicomparetheetoasummersday

shall buds but breathe of thy eternal gold?
temperate complexion dimm’d to time gives
how shall thee shine as long as lovely lives?
want of love, rough winds, possession has sold
summer’s eye to long glow and wander bold
by chance or changing compare what life gives
rough wind of nature courses along, lives;
and in our hot death of darling May hold
the long shade of eternal lies, of art
sprung from shaking complexions, where we seethe;
yet we do not mind. men, summer, apart
breathe eternal buds- temperate- but breathe.

Comments

[Canned Toast]

Good job keep to a strong sonnet format... but it didn't make sense. I have no idea what you were trying to convey.

[fizznomore]

Near-perfect rhythm, so it reads well. Skewed grammar, syntax and punctuation smother the meaning, though. Ahh, I see: you cut up Shakespeare's sonnet and stuck it back together. Is that right? Interesting idea. It would be even cooler if it made sense. XP